Why, google, why?!?!

I've googled myself before to see what others could potentially find out about me.

I had never thought until tonight to try something different..so I googled "candice san francisco"

This is the first result:
candace-sf.com WARNING: NOT WORK SAFE

here's a clip if you want to not have to click through:
"I'm Candace! As a sexy, beautiful blonde adult female companion based in both San Francisco and London I am exclusivelly available to the world's most discerning men. An executive with my own company, an artistic bent and a very naughty side, I am one of the highest rated escorts in San Francisco and London."


1. It's not even spelled right, her name is Candace, not Candice
2. She's an escort. How is this even legal in SF?!
3. I thought she was in a recession-proof business..apparently not "
In light of the economic slump, I'm offering $100 off my normal rate per hour until the end of March!"


...at least she's "highly rated." Well...according to her. I can't find her on Yelp.

I'm annoyed.

EDIT: Thanks to bernadette, we can now see what her reviews are:
REVIEWS FOR THE ESCORT

chp

If I were to ever write a missed connection, it would have been for today

Dear CHP Guy-

I'm usually a sucker for a guy in uniform, but you caught my friend & I by surprise. I had no idea CHP uniforms were as crazy attractive as Marine Digicams. You're the first one I've ever met. Until then, I only thought you guys looked like Erik Estrada.

We realized you were pulling us over, we had no choice. And as we were swearing up a storm, you surprised me by coming over to my side. Thanks, btw, for motioning for me to roll the window down. I honestly wasn't expecting a CHP officer to be at my window, nor was I expecting him to be young and freaking hot.

You said something about registration blah blah blah but I was lost in your deep, blue eyes. Sure, the paperwork is valid..take her license, but please, take my heart.

Somewhere in between the shuffle and frustration of the day, you found it in your heart to let us off without too bad of a punishment, and with enough time for my friend to make her appointment.

You have her address. Just show up, we'll figure out the future from there.

- The girl who couldn't say anything.

I love the fact that we're all watching this at work.

Txt msg log #2

My phone’s starting to act really sluggish when it comes to txt msgs again, you know what that means, kids!

TXT MSG LOG TIME!

Are you ready? Buckle in.

Here we go, July 2008 – Jan 2009, Oldest first.

Sept 2008

Bernadette:

blah blah…I’ll just keep being rude and text people during dinner.

Bernadette:

It’s cool I went to dinner with cindy and joy and saw the absolute

hottest hapa guy ever eating dinner all by himself and I wanted to

jump on him.

Exchange:

Oliver:

:/

:(0)

Uh…smiley eating a kiwi

That doesn’t make sense.

I loves Rhett.

I loves Rhett and britt together. I loves you too. Love trinity.

With all of my heart

Only if britt will be in it too

This is oliver

WE ARE ONE

I know everything

She’s got a spot behind her left ear. She goes crazy

Hot. Rhetts got one too, I hear

John H B:

Ok, I’m on the edgesssssssss

Tobi:

When isn’t yelp happy hour?

Gail:

OMg SHUTUP that looks so awesomely badass!

Is it stable? I’m envious.

Kadecia:

What up! When are you planning to arrive? We got masks and are ready to role

Bernadette:

Ha! I just ran into josh and jeremy in north beach

I know he told me :)

No :) they were looking for their car

Bernadette:

I’m having drinks with the poodle in 20 minutes. OMGWTFBBQ!!!!

Rhett:

Drunk due to Helen.

Tobi:

Thanks I may pass I have like f bottles at home

Pat:

Anthropomorphize much?

Bernadette:

He said: I haven’t seen her in a long time!” Hehe. I’m drunk hahahahahaha

October 2008

Bernadette:

Lovefest sucks and its making my ears bleed.

What are you doing later?

Brittany:

Wow I just get a ‘hi’????

WTF question are you filled of beef tenderloin???

Rhett:

I would dress mostly normal…For u anyway.

just make sure you have socks.

Mohawk not required.

Pat:

Whatever. I be up 4ever. Took nap b4.

Brittany:

Can you twist ur ankle or

Soething so u guys can forfeit

And Rhett can go home and talk to his needy

Girl friend? Thanks in advance!

Pat:

Omg! Id be pissed. Id bite someone. Doctor or fellow patient.

John H B:

Why aren’t you fools answering your phones?

Gail:

B said her ass is banging in her green apple onesie shorts!

She’s so conceited.

Bernadette:
Lo just bought me two drinks. Omfg

Jeremy:
Hey Mo-Fo’s I’m back from napa and boy is my liver tired.

Rhett:

Oh babe get a cab. Say your address.

U Worry me, fucking drunk.

Nicole:

Thanks for having me lady! You guys rocked the wigs.

John HB:

So I think I’ll be popping my collar.

Brittany:
It’s possible that he wants to kill me.

Kristen:
Throw a sheep at him.

Gail:
Well, we didn’t win the lotto. Bummed.

John HB:

Sorry I’m now had enough to drink where you have become the 3^rd person.

John HB:
Long u long time…actually short time :(

Gail:
Don’t 4get to work on her Halloween pic. And make her ass look banging.

Gail:
Ur niece is asking for “tee”

Jeremy:
What the hell happened to the garage door?

Gail:
Really? Cool! She was the only one I showed it to so far.

Maybe mel = crackhead…?

Jill:

Would sarah palin as ms Alaska 1984 wear an elegant

satin black or filmy pink gown? More importantly,

which looks better w/ a rifle?

November 2008

Brittany:

I hate u…

Election night:

Kate:

Yay! Current electoral count 194 to 60-something

Gail:

Wooohooooo wooooooooooohooooo woohooooooooo

Gail:

Yup! Watching it now. Republicans still suck ass.

Oops…That last sentence was from B.

Gail:

While we’ve been talking politics, this is what mel had 2 say:

Why do people with bad breath breathe with their mouths open. In my face.

Rockthevote:

You did it. Record young voter turnout, deciding the election. This is just the beginning.

Brittany:
U a hoe.

Melody:
DRUNK

Melody:

Omg cheers (I think I txtd her back that I was also drunk)

Greg:

Really. Shut up and get outta here. Go hit someone with a pillow. That there crazy talk.

Josh:

“Ery 1 in da club getting’ tips”

Rhett:
Omg, I’m watching the episode of southpark that was MADE for u. Goths vs vamps.

Ur so lame.

Melody:

Dude are you drunk?

December 2008

Melody:

(picmsg of me in a horrible outfit when I was 10)

Well we both were. Just gramps put yours up. Ha ha ha.

Maybe if we went to public school we would have known how to dress.

Kate:
Guess who got selected for jury duty today…booooooo

Gail:

Text me…i'm getting my hair blow dried rt now. Republicans.

Ignore “Republicans”…It did an auto insert somehow.

Melody:
Florist called mom just now. To make sure she was home. No surprise anymore.

Melody:
What is twitter?

Rhett:

Whore.

Brittany:
Some dude just told me that ur a whore and let some chick lick u. Is this true, whore?

Rhett:

Mmmmmmmm beeeer

Rhett:

Txt me fool

Ok, I hear u, law is law. Be there after I finish my warmup.

Rhett:

Creepy as fuck.

Gail:

(picmsg of a dry erase board)

Found this waiting 4 me on my dry erase board in my new office.

It says welcome 2 the 2^nd worst building here. The worst building was my

old building, moving up! gah!

Jenn:
Are you having a happy happy time?

Melody:
Did you wanna get a tattoo while you’re here?

Brittany:
Ok I suck I’m sorry.

Josh:
Hapi birf de!

Maddy:
Besuretodrinkyourovaltine?
A crummy commercial? Son fo a bitch! (merry Christmas!)

John S:
Bah hum bug everyone! Coal! Coal Coal!

January 2009

Jeremy:

(in the middle of all the Happy New Year Txts)

Happy Halloween!!!

Gail:
Gail is two doors down from where Candice is sitting in her old room

But didn’t feel like commenting about it on fb.

Jon C:

Check your emails I am going to find some way of making this trivia night work

If I have to strip naked and dance the Charleston goddammit!

Gail:
Instead of a video game, this trip will be marked by “signing times”

Greg:

Yeah. What kind of trivia? You calling me out how cute.

Money on the line? I’ll take a piece of the action. Nah I don’t want to hurt anyone. :)

Who is on the ten thousand dollar bill? Huh? Take that…no google permitted.

Yeah it’s on like ping pong.

Oliver: (regarding tattoo)

Ooooh exciting!

Congratulations girl…treasure this feeling.

Melody:

Picmsg of her wearing a sweater I forgot in Hawaii

Oh what a lovely jacket.

Gail:

OH NO! Totally MY fault!

Your OVAL! YOUR OVAL!!!

Maybe subconsciously I REALLY want it. I’m so passive aggressive.

Josh:

Buttver.

Brittany:
Wow I wish I was drunk.

John H B:

It is so hard to run w/ a stomach full of tofu

Oliver:

that's awesome

closet nerd

Doogie Howser, MD Symphony

I fucking love Neil Patrick Harris. So. Much.

Back from Hawai'i different, and I didn't get a tan.

So i'm way too tired to put up detailed events, so i'll list my souvenirs:

• Necklaces & Bracelets from International Marketplace
• Mood necklace from Waikiki Aquarium
• 2 pairs of Vans Shoes from Waikele Outlets
• Clothes from Hot Topic
• Kona Coffee
• Chocolate Covered Mac Nuts
• oh, and my FIRST tattoo! =)

More details to follow maybe about that whole process. I'm just proud of myself. I got to do that with my family.

Nine Inch Nails Raw Footage?

Trent has reportedly been contacted about some raw footage

Apparently it can take days or weeks to download it. Anyone wanna do it for me?