Teresa:
i asked my roommate why i don't have any black friends up here.
he said because you ARE the black friend.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Self Awareness
Overheard (over"saw"?) on a friend's Facebook Status:
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Txt time.
Melody:
Remember no sudden movements tomorrow night. Or secret service might tackle you!
Gail:
Shut it. SHUT IT RIGHT NOW.
Brittany:
Hello Bangs!!!!
Sean:
Just spit out some more racist diatribe.
John:
Word to big bird.
Remember no sudden movements tomorrow night. Or secret service might tackle you!
Gail:
Shut it. SHUT IT RIGHT NOW.
Brittany:
Hello Bangs!!!!
Sean:
Just spit out some more racist diatribe.
John:
Word to big bird.
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Txt Msg Log September 29 - Oct 5
Jay:
Drunk.
And Naked.
Me: You last txt sounded like a bot.
Sean:
Thank you for your text. A representative will follow up with you shortly.
Gail:
Tell them to suck balls til they choke and die.
Also, their breadsticks r delish.
Kat:
I'm at a Yo-Yo competition right now full of guys who look like Candice's dream boat prototypes!
Drunk.
And Naked.
Me: You last txt sounded like a bot.
Sean:
Thank you for your text. A representative will follow up with you shortly.
Gail:
Tell them to suck balls til they choke and die.
Also, their breadsticks r delish.
Kat:
I'm at a Yo-Yo competition right now full of guys who look like Candice's dream boat prototypes!
Thursday, October 1, 2009
normal tonight
me: I am a figment of your imagination
Nicholas: well, I could do worse when it comes to figments of my imagination
me: you could do much worse
Nicholas: indeed
me: also, drunk
Nicholas: so you're...normal tonight?
me: YES
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Text message log
It's starting to annoy me that this one fills up at 200 instead of the other one at like..800. I feel there's less gold everytime.
Maybe I just don't have as many interesting txts anymore, but here they are:
Mary:
They hated it. They ripped it up and peed on it.
Greg:
I'm quotable...that rocks more than a quarry.
Yeah that greg guy is funny.
After finding out he made the last txt msg blog
"Mom":
So drunk right now.
What happens when your sister has access to your mom's phone and your mom has no idea what a txt is...not the first time this has been sent to me from "mom"
Alex:
They know you by Name here. You fuckin lush.
from a winery
Later that day from my friend that works at that same winery
David:
He is a total jerk and I asked him to leave
He is a total drunk. What kind of people r u sending me"
He hit me with the late harvest and pinned me to the ground because I wouldn't serve him.
After I msg'd my other friend to make sure he was joking
Alex: I slammed that spam-eating gook to the ground w a bottle of late harvest sauvignon blanc
Younger Sister:
Whose wine is this in the fridge? I'm about to get CRUNK
Younger Sister:
Yeah. Hood lums are up in the day too.
Alex: (a few days after the "incident" at the windery)
You know I didn't actually insult or assault david, right? We were screwing with you?
and yes...i did know
Scott:
If u were gayer I would've helped u.
Gail:
I think the Dr. was wrong when she said B was "ahead". She just did brain age and her age was 80 =(
Scott:
I convinced everyone in maine to get a gay marriage. Even the straight people.
Sean:
Just heard that idaho consumes more spam than anywhere else. True or not true. Hawaiian?
Maybe I just don't have as many interesting txts anymore, but here they are:
Mary:
They hated it. They ripped it up and peed on it.
Greg:
I'm quotable...that rocks more than a quarry.
Yeah that greg guy is funny.
After finding out he made the last txt msg blog
"Mom":
So drunk right now.
What happens when your sister has access to your mom's phone and your mom has no idea what a txt is...not the first time this has been sent to me from "mom"
Alex:
They know you by Name here. You fuckin lush.
from a winery
Later that day from my friend that works at that same winery
David:
He is a total jerk and I asked him to leave
He is a total drunk. What kind of people r u sending me"
He hit me with the late harvest and pinned me to the ground because I wouldn't serve him.
After I msg'd my other friend to make sure he was joking
Alex: I slammed that spam-eating gook to the ground w a bottle of late harvest sauvignon blanc
Younger Sister:
Whose wine is this in the fridge? I'm about to get CRUNK
Younger Sister:
Yeah. Hood lums are up in the day too.
Alex: (a few days after the "incident" at the windery)
You know I didn't actually insult or assault david, right? We were screwing with you?
and yes...i did know
Scott:
If u were gayer I would've helped u.
Gail:
I think the Dr. was wrong when she said B was "ahead". She just did brain age and her age was 80 =(
Scott:
I convinced everyone in maine to get a gay marriage. Even the straight people.
Sean:
Just heard that idaho consumes more spam than anywhere else. True or not true. Hawaiian?
Sunday, September 13, 2009
txt msg log 8/22/09 - 09/13/09
this blog is going to start becoming TFLN. Although, this blog (and the txt blogs) are OLDER than TFLN... they do have some funny ass shit though.
August
Brittany: Btw u can only talk pidgin to me whilst in Hawai'i.
(Britt making her triumphant return to my txt msg blog has managed to dog "pidgin" and use the word "whilst" in the same sentence. Bravo.)
Greg: I wanna ride an ATV. Random desire.
Shane: 379-Zulu-alpha roger agent double0
Brittany: Ur loss hoe.
apparently i'm also great to ask for ideas while drinking:
Brittany: Dude drink more. U have gold in there. I miss u btw.
Brittany: Hmmm better. Chug.
Brittany: Damn girl! THAT'S GOOD!!! now take a shot and tell me more.
Scott: It's a liberal lie! We are the body of christ incarnate!
Greg: Oh well kido been a slice
Melody: Don't forget to call me when you land! And new episode of tool academy!
And after the trip was over i get this gem from
Greg: Sounds like an orgy...but less fun.
August
Brittany: Btw u can only talk pidgin to me whilst in Hawai'i.
(Britt making her triumphant return to my txt msg blog has managed to dog "pidgin" and use the word "whilst" in the same sentence. Bravo.)
Greg: I wanna ride an ATV. Random desire.
Shane: 379-Zulu-alpha roger agent double0
Brittany: Ur loss hoe.
apparently i'm also great to ask for ideas while drinking:
Brittany: Dude drink more. U have gold in there. I miss u btw.
Brittany: Hmmm better. Chug.
Brittany: Damn girl! THAT'S GOOD!!! now take a shot and tell me more.
Scott: It's a liberal lie! We are the body of christ incarnate!
Greg: Oh well kido been a slice
Melody: Don't forget to call me when you land! And new episode of tool academy!
And after the trip was over i get this gem from
Greg: Sounds like an orgy...but less fun.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Text message log from Hawai'i!
I'm here and having a blast. Stupid text message thingy is full and I have to erase it now.
August:
That's not a bad thing unless they're not really gay. Keep your wits about you.
Melody:
[picture of drive thru menu]
Faiol: "Picture menus available at window."'''But how do they read it?
Jeff:
Jesus may be for reform. But the Jesus Bus followers are for gigantic signs and reminding us that we are fornicators.
Rhett:
is that what that burning sensation is?
Oliver:
kitten purchased. in car.
Greg:
Fun? Alcohol? Debauchery? Perhaps pineapple? Who knows?
Dost thou cup over runneth?
Has thoust drunk in abundance this evening?
7 shots is my guess.
not too much gold in this batch unfortunately.
August:
That's not a bad thing unless they're not really gay. Keep your wits about you.
Melody:
[picture of drive thru menu]
Faiol: "Picture menus available at window."'''But how do they read it?
Jeff:
Jesus may be for reform. But the Jesus Bus followers are for gigantic signs and reminding us that we are fornicators.
Rhett:
is that what that burning sensation is?
Oliver:
kitten purchased. in car.
Greg:
Fun? Alcohol? Debauchery? Perhaps pineapple? Who knows?
Dost thou cup over runneth?
Has thoust drunk in abundance this evening?
7 shots is my guess.
not too much gold in this batch unfortunately.
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