Greg:
Can't take you anywhere with me :)
LOL What a little minx

Sean:
I want you to know that I am no longer a clone tool virgin.

Jay:
Totally drunk. I wanna get away from this group of people.

Me:
Candice is to BSD Forms as Sean is to Clone Tool.
Sean:
!!! Best analogy ever

Scott:
Hey, what's the plan tonight? (Is there a plan tonight?)

Scott:
Yeah, pretty much all girls ride the hate-scott-love-scott-hate-scott train. ;-)

Brittany:
Make me breakfast!!!!

Keane:
Thanks so much for rocking out! Made a difference :)

Series of txts right after I left from my roomies right after I landed in LA

Tobi:
Crash your room ok?
Josh:
Is it okay if I crash in your room tonight?
Jeremy:
Hey, I'm really tired from watching tv can I shortcut into your room for snooze?
Me:
Um sure, but just to let you know I gave a random dude at a bar the keys to the garage.
Jeremy:
It's cool, Josh is parked in the garage tonight. Soooooo...Should I sleep Tops or bottom in your room?

Felix:
Have fun! Don't get arrested! Satan don't pay for bail.

Bernadette:
ha. Drunk texting BAD. Emphasis on TEXTING :|

Ron:
How is the s&m?
Lol no good! It could be awesomeness
Yay heat...0why am I still drinking??? 0 mebe I shoulda stayed with you guys...I am craving taco.

Gail:
Btw I asked doug if the [shooting] range was open on thanksgiving. It's like your "football"

Self Awareness

Overheard (over"saw"?) on a friend's Facebook Status:

Teresa:
i asked my roommate why i don't have any black friends up here.
he said because you ARE the black friend.

Txt time.

Melody:
Remember no sudden movements tomorrow night. Or secret service might tackle you!

Gail:
Shut it. SHUT IT RIGHT NOW.

Brittany:
Hello Bangs!!!!

Sean:
Just spit out some more racist diatribe.

John:
Word to big bird.

Txt Msg Log September 29 - Oct 5

Jay:
Drunk.
And Naked.

Me: You last txt sounded like a bot.
Sean:
Thank you for your text. A representative will follow up with you shortly.

Gail:
Tell them to suck balls til they choke and die.
Also, their breadsticks r delish.

Kat:
I'm at a Yo-Yo competition right now full of guys who look like Candice's dream boat prototypes!

normal tonight

me: I am a figment of your imagination
Nicholas: well, I could do worse when it comes to figments of my imagination
me: you could do much worse
Nicholas: indeed
me: also, drunk
Nicholas: so you're...normal tonight?
me: YES

Text message log

It's starting to annoy me that this one fills up at 200 instead of the other one at like..800. I feel there's less gold everytime.

Maybe I just don't have as many interesting txts anymore, but here they are:

Mary:
They hated it. They ripped it up and peed on it.

Greg:
I'm quotable...that rocks more than a quarry.
Yeah that greg guy is funny.
After finding out he made the last txt msg blog

"Mom":
So drunk right now.
What happens when your sister has access to your mom's phone and your mom has no idea what a txt is...not the first time this has been sent to me from "mom"


Alex:
They know you by Name here. You fuckin lush.
from a winery

Later that day from my friend that works at that same winery
David:
He is a total jerk and I asked him to leave
He is a total drunk. What kind of people r u sending me"
He hit me with the late harvest and pinned me to the ground because I wouldn't serve him.

After I msg'd my other friend to make sure he was joking
Alex: I slammed that spam-eating gook to the ground w a bottle of late harvest sauvignon blanc

Younger Sister:
Whose wine is this in the fridge? I'm about to get CRUNK

Younger Sister:
Yeah. Hood lums are up in the day too.


Alex: (a few days after the "incident" at the windery)
You know I didn't actually insult or assault david, right? We were screwing with you?

and yes...i did know

Scott:
If u were gayer I would've helped u.

Gail:
I think the Dr. was wrong when she said B was "ahead". She just did brain age and her age was 80 =(

Scott:
I convinced everyone in maine to get a gay marriage. Even the straight people.

Sean:
Just heard that idaho consumes more spam than anywhere else. True or not true. Hawaiian?

txt msg log 8/22/09 - 09/13/09

this blog is going to start becoming TFLN. Although, this blog (and the txt blogs) are OLDER than TFLN... they do have some funny ass shit though.


August
Brittany: Btw u can only talk pidgin to me whilst in Hawai'i.
(Britt making her triumphant return to my txt msg blog has managed to dog "pidgin" and use the word "whilst" in the same sentence. Bravo.)

Greg: I wanna ride an ATV. Random desire.

Shane: 379-Zulu-alpha roger agent double0

Brittany: Ur loss hoe.

apparently i'm also great to ask for ideas while drinking:
Brittany: Dude drink more. U have gold in there. I miss u btw.
Brittany: Hmmm better. Chug.
Brittany: Damn girl! THAT'S GOOD!!! now take a shot and tell me more.

Scott: It's a liberal lie! We are the body of christ incarnate!

Greg: Oh well kido been a slice

Melody: Don't forget to call me when you land! And new episode of tool academy!



And after the trip was over i get this gem from
Greg: Sounds like an orgy...but less fun.