Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Txt msgs, First Quarter of 2010

I've decided to only do these once every three months. Every 'quarter' if you will. I promise that maybe one day I will start blogging again.


Brittany: Penis

Scott: Scott? Who's Scott?!?

Kat: Dude, fully stocked mini fridge. It's like they wanted me to have a party.

Emily: OMG! Talk with him before he starts tripping.

Oliver: just guns with the shooting. not shooting bitches.

Brittany: Personalize ur booze texts!
Brittany: I DESERVE MY OWN SHIT!!!!!!!

Mary: Guy in sequin jacket?

S: Those who know, do. Those that don't, yap their pie holes at parties.

Cache: Hehe...I'm a leg humper...hahahahahahaha

Alex: Sweet. You still have time to sober up, go out, and get drunk again. The night is young.

Rhett: Omg. We're playing against Tits-No-Face.

Brittany: BOOM!

Alex: I am going to kill so many villagers. Er, uh, natives.
Alex: Can I borrow you?
Alex: It's not that I want to burn anyone to death.


Oliver: you know...if someone were to judge you by your text messages, they might think you had a drinking problem.

Hillary: *we* did, but our team was full of idiots.

Oliver: sick octo.

Bernadette: My mom just said she loves Sarah Palin. Can I get off the rock any faster?

Ron: Hey, what's the name of the hats that Devo wears?
Me: Energy domes. Why?
Ron: Strategic BBQ purposes.

Angela: Now that I'm no longer drunk, I think that rice would be awesome with the beef stew!

Sean: You're running out of time.
Sean: Like a douche wrapped up in the night.
Sean: And I'm here. To remind you. Of the mess that you left when you went away. It's not fair, to deny me...You you you outta know.

Angela: I hate having to sleep.

Hillary: I might be watching new season of '16 and Pregnant'

Bernadette: "IKEA", not "okra". Damn auto-correct.

Melody: Do people wear super thick snow jackets there? Or would I look like a douche?

Ron: Livin' On A Prayer still equals Candice.


OMG just ran after my runaway shopping cart in the Ikea parking lot & caught it inches away from slamming into a car. I feel like a superhero.

[picture message with a picture of his own copy of this shirt]
"Admit it, you've never loved me more. =)"


I am so proud of you. My hangover is hungover. GOOD TIMES.
I think I am still drunk from last night. I feel really salty. Are you still standing?
I want to crawl into a ditch and die, but the crawling would take too much effort.

Must. Have. Pho. Tomorrow. Please. Advise.

WTF. Bridget keeps calling Steven Colbert 'Grandpa'. 2 year-olds are weird.

No don't!!! Be Punk Rock for me!

I am RIGHT on the corner of Castro & Market. Total protest action. Gay men in thongs.

Rib eye steak blah blah blah

MJ sent us the magic box

Fuxk I want dim sum. Monday...=...funday?

Are you serious? 1) Take pictures for blog. 2) This means the Gods don't want you to go home. Think about it.

Monday, March 22, 2010

Welcome to Fresno.

Post celebration dinner, I pull up the car to the parking lot of the restaurant where we're supposed to eat. I see a man standing on the other end of the parking lot bleeding profusely from his general head area.

As I pull up, my friend who is already there runs to my window, I roll it down.

N: We're not eating here.
me: Does it have to do with the bleeding gentleman behind me?
N: That's part of it, but really...they don't serve booze here.