Txt msgs, First Quarter of 2010

I've decided to only do these once every three months. Every 'quarter' if you will. I promise that maybe one day I will start blogging again.

January

Brittany: Penis

Scott: Scott? Who's Scott?!?

Kat: Dude, fully stocked mini fridge. It's like they wanted me to have a party.

Emily: OMG! Talk with him before he starts tripping.

Oliver: SHOOTIN GUNS BITCHES
Oliver: just guns with the shooting. not shooting bitches.

Brittany: Personalize ur booze texts!
Brittany: I DESERVE MY OWN SHIT!!!!!!!

Mary: Guy in sequin jacket?

S: Those who know, do. Those that don't, yap their pie holes at parties.

Cache: Hehe...I'm a leg humper...hahahahahahaha

Alex: Sweet. You still have time to sober up, go out, and get drunk again. The night is young.

Rhett: Omg. We're playing against Tits-No-Face.

Brittany: BOOM!

Alex: I am going to kill so many villagers. Er, uh, natives.
Alex: Can I borrow you?
Alex: It's not that I want to burn anyone to death.

February

Oliver: you know...if someone were to judge you by your text messages, they might think you had a drinking problem.

Hillary: *we* did, but our team was full of idiots.

Oliver: sick octo.

Bernadette: My mom just said she loves Sarah Palin. Can I get off the rock any faster?

Ron: Hey, what's the name of the hats that Devo wears?

Me: Energy domes. Why?

Ron: Strategic BBQ purposes.

Angela: Now that I'm no longer drunk, I think that rice would be awesome with the beef stew!

Sean: You're running out of time.

Sean: Like a douche wrapped up in the night.

Sean: And I'm here. To remind you. Of the mess that you left when you went away. It's not fair, to deny me...You you you outta know.

Angela: I hate having to sleep.

Hillary: I might be watching new season of '16 and Pregnant'

Bernadette: "IKEA", not "okra". Damn auto-correct.

Melody: Do people wear super thick snow jackets there? Or would I look like a douche?

Ron: Livin' On A Prayer still equals Candice.

March

Kat:

OMG just ran after my runaway shopping cart in the Ikea parking lot & caught it inches away from slamming into a car. I feel like a superhero.

Scott:

[picture message with a picture of his own copy of this shirt]

"Admit it, you've never loved me more. =)"

Gail:
MAKE MY DINNER U LAZY BUMS

Alex:

I am so proud of you. My hangover is hungover. GOOD TIMES.

then...

Alex:

I think I am still drunk from last night. I feel really salty. Are you still standing?

later...

Alex:

I want to crawl into a ditch and die, but the crawling would take too much effort.

Brittany:

Must. Have. Pho. Tomorrow. Please. Advise.

Gail:

WTF. Bridget keeps calling Steven Colbert 'Grandpa'. 2 year-olds are weird.

Angela:
No don't!!! Be Punk Rock for me!

Alex:

I am RIGHT on the corner of Castro & Market. Total protest action. Gay men in thongs.

Angela:

Rib eye steak blah blah blah

Ruby:

MJ sent us the magic box

Brittany:

Fuxk I want dim sum. Monday...=...funday?

Alex:

Are you serious? 1) Take pictures for blog. 2) This means the Gods don't want you to go home. Think about it.

Welcome to Fresno.

Post celebration dinner, I pull up the car to the parking lot of the restaurant where we're supposed to eat. I see a man standing on the other end of the parking lot bleeding profusely from his general head area.

As I pull up, my friend who is already there runs to my window, I roll it down.

N: We're not eating here.

me: Does it have to do with the bleeding gentleman behind me?

N: That's part of it, but really...they don't serve booze here.