Goodbye 2009, hello 2010. hi text messages.

I KNOW i keep doing these, but this time i saved it for a few months and then decided to publish it.

November:

Richard:
The Filipino has landed.

Alex:
This is bravo zero. I am at madrone. I repeat: I am at madrone. Over.

Brittany:
Nothing like a vamp to lift ur spirits. BTW guess who has two thumbs and is soooo considering dim sum at this exact moment? This girl!

Brittany:
Just sang Livin' On A Prayer just for u.

Scott:
Ah. I've got dinner plans =(
(Implied subtext: with a girl)

Alex:
Sonofabitch, I typed "Kona" and it autotext suggested "Jonas"

December:

Brent:
Thanks for calling me a bitch.

Sean:
The process of sending Change Report is like giving birth each time. And I don't mean caesarean section.

Stan:
Can you grab me one? I got rum.

Sister:
I was changing [your niece's] diaper just now and she said "i hungry"
Me: "What do you want to eat"
Niece: "Spam, rice, eggs."
NO LIE.

Sean:
And support the president, bitch!
And: "Yelp is NOT a diary, motherfucker!"

Scott:
Oh! Totally want to go, but I am hung.

(over)


Melody:
Bad news. Might have to break up with joel. Says he doesn't like bon jovi. Doesn't know them too well. The bastard.


Rhett:
Whore.

Megan:
Perfect. Miso happy. (i was sitting right next to her)

Brittany:
I bet you feel like shit.

Oliver (right outside my door)
Sup can i come in or what?

Brendan:
CONFIRMED: Avatar uses papyrus subtitles.

Scott:
Ha ha. Just join a threesome to make it less awkward.

Oliver:
heh fuck that guy

Alex:
I think you might have texted the wrong dude but it's super-nice to hear from you.

Brittany: From across the bus
Yeah u? Lookin mighty fine in dem jeans!

Scott:
I'M TIRED OF THIS MOTHERFUCKIN' COBBLER!

Gail:
Sheesh lady r u alive in there?

Person:
The chances of me having a Pants-free NYE are slim to none.


JANUARY

Oliver:
Was I a superhero?

Anonymous male:
Oooooooooooh. Would it be wrong of me to hit on him if I was your date?

Me to Oliver: Drunnnnnnkkkkkk!
Oliver: It ain't even 8. impressive.

Brittany (6:52pm):
THIS is why i love you!
Brittany (6:55pm):
I fucking hate you.

Oliver:
You, madam, are a lush.

Rhett:
Ok, don't panic if u beat us.

Rhett:
Quit mass texting. I want a personal notice.
Oliver:
c-town for the hat trick!
Brittany:
How dare u get drunk for Rhett?
Rhett:
THANK YOU.

Oliver:
is everything fucked?
Oliver:
gay men will do that to ya.

Sean:
Good. Sorry about the poop. Not that I did it.