Self Awareness

Overheard (over"saw"?) on a friend's Facebook Status:

Teresa:
i asked my roommate why i don't have any black friends up here.
he said because you ARE the black friend.

Txt time.

Melody:
Remember no sudden movements tomorrow night. Or secret service might tackle you!

Gail:
Shut it. SHUT IT RIGHT NOW.

Brittany:
Hello Bangs!!!!

Sean:
Just spit out some more racist diatribe.

John:
Word to big bird.

Txt Msg Log September 29 - Oct 5

Jay:
Drunk.
And Naked.

Me: You last txt sounded like a bot.
Sean:
Thank you for your text. A representative will follow up with you shortly.

Gail:
Tell them to suck balls til they choke and die.
Also, their breadsticks r delish.

Kat:
I'm at a Yo-Yo competition right now full of guys who look like Candice's dream boat prototypes!

normal tonight

me: I am a figment of your imagination
Nicholas: well, I could do worse when it comes to figments of my imagination
me: you could do much worse
Nicholas: indeed
me: also, drunk
Nicholas: so you're...normal tonight?
me: YES