Absence of Motive

Txt msgs, First Quarter of 2010

2010-03-31T15:00:00.000-07:00

I've decided to only do these once every three months. Every 'quarter' if you will. I promise that maybe one day I will start blogging again.

January

Brittany: Penis

Scott: Scott? Who's Scott?!?

Kat: Dude, fully stocked mini fridge. It's like they wanted me to have a party.

Emily: OMG! Talk with him before he starts tripping.

Oliver: SHOOTIN GUNS BITCHES
Oliver: just guns with the shooting. not shooting bitches.

Brittany: Personalize ur booze texts!
Brittany: I DESERVE MY OWN SHIT!!!!!!!

Mary: Guy in sequin jacket?

S: Those who know, do. Those that don't, yap their pie holes at parties.

Cache: Hehe...I'm a leg humper...hahahahahahaha

Alex: Sweet. You still have time to sober up, go out, and get drunk again. The night is young.

Rhett: Omg. We're playing against Tits-No-Face.

Brittany: BOOM!

Alex: I am going to kill so many villagers. Er, uh, natives.
Alex: Can I borrow you?
Alex: It's not that I want to burn anyone to death.

February

Oliver: you know...if someone were to judge you by your text messages, they might think you had a drinking problem.

Hillary: *we* did, but our team was full of idiots.

Oliver: sick octo.

Bernadette: My mom just said she loves Sarah Palin. Can I get off the rock any faster?

Ron: Hey, what's the name of the hats that Devo wears?

Me: Energy domes. Why?

Ron: Strategic BBQ purposes.

Angela: Now that I'm no longer drunk, I think that rice would be awesome with the beef stew!

Sean: You're running out of time.

Sean: Like a douche wrapped up in the night.

Sean: And I'm here. To remind you. Of the mess that you left when you went away. It's not fair, to deny me...You you you outta know.

Angela: I hate having to sleep.

Hillary: I might be watching new season of '16 and Pregnant'

Bernadette: "IKEA", not "okra". Damn auto-correct.

Melody: Do people wear super thick snow jackets there? Or would I look like a douche?

Ron: Livin' On A Prayer still equals Candice.

March

Kat:

OMG just ran after my runaway shopping cart in the Ikea parking lot & caught it inches away from slamming into a car. I feel like a superhero.

Scott:

[picture message with a picture of his own copy of this shirt]

"Admit it, you've never loved me more. =)"

Gail:
MAKE MY DINNER U LAZY BUMS

Alex:

I am so proud of you. My hangover is hungover. GOOD TIMES.

then...

Alex:

I think I am still drunk from last night. I feel really salty. Are you still standing?

later...

Alex:

I want to crawl into a ditch and die, but the crawling would take too much effort.

Brittany:

Must. Have. Pho. Tomorrow. Please. Advise.

Gail:

WTF. Bridget keeps calling Steven Colbert 'Grandpa'. 2 year-olds are weird.

Angela:
No don't!!! Be Punk Rock for me!

Alex:

I am RIGHT on the corner of Castro & Market. Total protest action. Gay men in thongs.

Angela:

Rib eye steak blah blah blah

Ruby:

MJ sent us the magic box

Brittany:

Fuxk I want dim sum. Monday...=...funday?

Alex:

Are you serious? 1) Take pictures for blog. 2) This means the Gods don't want you to go home. Think about it.

Welcome to Fresno.

2010-03-22T20:47:00.000-07:00

Post celebration dinner, I pull up the car to the parking lot of the restaurant where we're supposed to eat. I see a man standing on the other end of the parking lot bleeding profusely from his general head area.

As I pull up, my friend who is already there runs to my window, I roll it down.

N: We're not eating here.
me: Does it have to do with the bleeding gentleman behind me?
N: That's part of it, but really...they don't serve booze here.

"Song in My Head" by Sherwood

2010-02-11T04:00:00.000-08:00

an older song..it came on internet radio and I realized it's on my iPod somewhere because it was on the original MySpace CD. Yeah, remember that whole thing? When that was a big deal?

Anyway, tonight's Insomnia-Inspired-To-Find-Video is "Song in My Head" by Sherwood.

This is what pisses me off about no more MTV the way it used to be, I've never seen this video before in my life and it's 3 years old. Yeah, I hate you right now, MTV.

Yes, I'd be mad.

2010-02-01T17:10:00.000-08:00

Ron: hey so
Ron: if i sf sinks into the ocean after i leave it.. would u be mad?
Ron: *shifty eyes*
Candice: um
Candice:yes
Candice:all my stuff's here
Ron: ok
Candice:so are you coming up?!
Ron: some were speculating that it didn't belong on the "DO NOT DO" list
Candice: i think it belongs on the DO NOT DO list
Candice:also
Candice: it's where star trek academy is supposed to be one day
Ron: well
Ron: they could rebuild san fran
Candice: right
Candice: but
Candice: again
Candice: all my stuff's here.
Ron: so it stays where it is
Candice: thanks!

Why do I keep clicking?

2010-01-28T03:05:00.000-08:00

Oh, my habit of clicking on links.
Sean: http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/v22940/1854/24/n100000273806139_4960.jpg

me: thefuck i just click on!?

12:02 AM helllooo

Sean: http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/v22940/1854/24/n100000273806139_4960.jpg

me: why is this happening to me

Sean: http://bit.ly/9Blv5P

12:03 AM me: am i in the nightmare?

isweartogod if a tinyurl shows up

12:04 AM Sean: http://tinyurl.com/yg2rmuv

me: SONOFA I STILL CLICKED ON IT

Sean: haha

alright, this one is good

http://is.gd/7cEPE

12:05 AM me: that's odd.

never felt like crying and laughing at the same time.

Sean: welcome to OFA!

9 minutes later
Sean: [new link]
me: I don't want to click it.

What's better?

2010-01-22T00:59:00.000-08:00

Q: What's better than enjoying $2 draft beers at a great uncrowded bar?

A: Walking up and asking if the happy hour is still going...and getting this answer:
"Everything's free until 11:30pm tonight."

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?

(photo by Flickr user giniger)

Goodbye 2009, hello 2010. hi text messages.

2009-12-23T01:04:00.000-08:00

I KNOW i keep doing these, but this time i saved it for a few months and then decided to publish it.

November:

Richard:
The Filipino has landed.

Alex:
This is bravo zero. I am at madrone. I repeat: I am at madrone. Over.

Brittany:
Nothing like a vamp to lift ur spirits. BTW guess who has two thumbs and is soooo considering dim sum at this exact moment? This girl!

Brittany:
Just sang Livin' On A Prayer just for u.

Scott:
Ah. I've got dinner plans =(
(Implied subtext: with a girl)

Alex:
Sonofabitch, I typed "Kona" and it autotext suggested "Jonas"

December:

Brent:
Thanks for calling me a bitch.

Sean:
The process of sending Change Report is like giving birth each time. And I don't mean caesarean section.

Stan:
Can you grab me one? I got rum.

Sister:
I was changing [your niece's] diaper just now and she said "i hungry"
Me: "What do you want to eat"
Niece: "Spam, rice, eggs."
NO LIE.

Sean:
And support the president, bitch!
And: "Yelp is NOT a diary, motherfucker!"

Scott:
Oh! Totally want to go, but I am hung.

(over)

Melody:
Bad news. Might have to break up with joel. Says he doesn't like bon jovi. Doesn't know them too well. The bastard.

Rhett:
Whore.

Megan:
Perfect. Miso happy. (i was sitting right next to her)

Brittany:
I bet you feel like shit.

Oliver (right outside my door)
Sup can i come in or what?

Brendan:
CONFIRMED: Avatar uses papyrus subtitles.

Scott:
Ha ha. Just join a threesome to make it less awkward.

Oliver:
heh fuck that guy

Alex:
I think you might have texted the wrong dude but it's super-nice to hear from you.

Brittany: From across the bus
Yeah u? Lookin mighty fine in dem jeans!

Scott:
I'M TIRED OF THIS MOTHERFUCKIN' COBBLER!

Gail:
Sheesh lady r u alive in there?

Person:
The chances of me having a Pants-free NYE are slim to none.

JANUARY

Oliver:
Was I a superhero?

Anonymous male:
Oooooooooooh. Would it be wrong of me to hit on him if I was your date?

Me to Oliver: Drunnnnnnkkkkkk!
Oliver: It ain't even 8. impressive.

Brittany (6:52pm):
THIS is why i love you!
Brittany (6:55pm):
I fucking hate you.

Oliver:
You, madam, are a lush.

Rhett:
Ok, don't panic if u beat us.

Rhett:
Quit mass texting. I want a personal notice.
Oliver:
c-town for the hat trick!
Brittany:
How dare u get drunk for Rhett?
Rhett:
THANK YOU.

Oliver:
is everything fucked?
Oliver:
gay men will do that to ya.

Sean:
Good. Sorry about the poop. Not that I did it.

2009-11-18T14:42:00.000-08:00

Greg:
Can't take you anywhere with me :)
LOL What a little minx

Sean:
I want you to know that I am no longer a clone tool virgin.

Jay:
Totally drunk. I wanna get away from this group of people.

Me:
Candice is to BSD Forms as Sean is to Clone Tool.
Sean:
!!! Best analogy ever

Scott:
Hey, what's the plan tonight? (Is there a plan tonight?)

Scott:
Yeah, pretty much all girls ride the hate-scott-love-scott-hate-scott train. ;-)

Brittany:
Make me breakfast!!!!

Keane:
Thanks so much for rocking out! Made a difference :)

Series of txts right after I left from my roomies right after I landed in LA

Tobi:
Crash your room ok?
Josh:
Is it okay if I crash in your room tonight?
Jeremy:
Hey, I'm really tired from watching tv can I shortcut into your room for snooze?
Me:
Um sure, but just to let you know I gave a random dude at a bar the keys to the garage.
Jeremy:
It's cool, Josh is parked in the garage tonight. Soooooo...Should I sleep Tops or bottom in your room?

Felix:
Have fun! Don't get arrested! Satan don't pay for bail.

Bernadette:
ha. Drunk texting BAD. Emphasis on TEXTING :|

Ron:
How is the s&m?
Lol no good! It could be awesomeness
Yay heat...0why am I still drinking??? 0 mebe I shoulda stayed with you guys...I am craving taco.

Gail:
Btw I asked doug if the [shooting] range was open on thanksgiving. It's like your "football"

Self Awareness

2009-10-25T12:50:00.000-07:00

Overheard (over"saw"?) on a friend's Facebook Status:

Teresa:
i asked my roommate why i don't have any black friends up here.
he said because you ARE the black friend.

Txt time.

2009-10-17T17:55:00.000-07:00

Melody:
Remember no sudden movements tomorrow night. Or secret service might tackle you!

Gail:
Shut it. SHUT IT RIGHT NOW.

Brittany:
Hello Bangs!!!!

Sean:
Just spit out some more racist diatribe.

John:
Word to big bird.

Txt Msg Log September 29 - Oct 5

2009-10-06T16:59:00.000-07:00

Jay:
Drunk.
And Naked.

Me: You last txt sounded like a bot.
Sean:
Thank you for your text. A representative will follow up with you shortly.

Gail:
Tell them to suck balls til they choke and die.
Also, their breadsticks r delish.

Kat:
I'm at a Yo-Yo competition right now full of guys who look like Candice's dream boat prototypes!

normal tonight

2009-10-01T22:18:00.000-07:00

me: I am a figment of your imagination
Nicholas: well, I could do worse when it comes to figments of my imagination
me: you could do much worse
Nicholas: indeed
me: also, drunk
Nicholas: so you're...normal tonight?
me: YES

Text message log

2009-09-27T23:34:00.000-07:00

It's starting to annoy me that this one fills up at 200 instead of the other one at like..800. I feel there's less gold everytime.

Maybe I just don't have as many interesting txts anymore, but here they are:

Mary:
They hated it. They ripped it up and peed on it.

Greg:
I'm quotable...that rocks more than a quarry.
Yeah that greg guy is funny.
After finding out he made the last txt msg blog

"Mom":
So drunk right now.
What happens when your sister has access to your mom's phone and your mom has no idea what a txt is...not the first time this has been sent to me from "mom"

Alex:
They know you by Name here. You fuckin lush.
from a winery

Later that day from my friend that works at that same winery
David:
He is a total jerk and I asked him to leave
He is a total drunk. What kind of people r u sending me"
He hit me with the late harvest and pinned me to the ground because I wouldn't serve him.

After I msg'd my other friend to make sure he was joking
Alex: I slammed that spam-eating gook to the ground w a bottle of late harvest sauvignon blanc

Younger Sister:
Whose wine is this in the fridge? I'm about to get CRUNK

Younger Sister:
Yeah. Hood lums are up in the day too.

Alex: (a few days after the "incident" at the windery)
You know I didn't actually insult or assault david, right? We were screwing with you?

and yes...i did know

Scott:
If u were gayer I would've helped u.

Gail:
I think the Dr. was wrong when she said B was "ahead". She just did brain age and her age was 80 =(

Scott:
I convinced everyone in maine to get a gay marriage. Even the straight people.

Sean:
Just heard that idaho consumes more spam than anywhere else. True or not true. Hawaiian?

txt msg log 8/22/09 - 09/13/09

2009-09-13T20:06:00.000-07:00

this blog is going to start becoming TFLN. Although, this blog (and the txt blogs) are OLDER than TFLN... they do have some funny ass shit though.

August
Brittany: Btw u can only talk pidgin to me whilst in Hawai'i.
(Britt making her triumphant return to my txt msg blog has managed to dog "pidgin" and use the word "whilst" in the same sentence. Bravo.)

Greg: I wanna ride an ATV. Random desire.

Shane: 379-Zulu-alpha roger agent double0

Brittany: Ur loss hoe.

apparently i'm also great to ask for ideas while drinking:
Brittany: Dude drink more. U have gold in there. I miss u btw.
Brittany: Hmmm better. Chug.
Brittany: Damn girl! THAT'S GOOD!!! now take a shot and tell me more.

Scott: It's a liberal lie! We are the body of christ incarnate!

Greg: Oh well kido been a slice

Melody: Don't forget to call me when you land! And new episode of tool academy!

And after the trip was over i get this gem from
Greg: Sounds like an orgy...but less fun.

Text message log from Hawai'i!

2009-08-22T18:13:00.000-07:00

I'm here and having a blast. Stupid text message thingy is full and I have to erase it now.

August:
That's not a bad thing unless they're not really gay. Keep your wits about you.

Melody:
[picture of drive thru menu]
Faiol: "Picture menus available at window."'''But how do they read it?

Jeff:
Jesus may be for reform. But the Jesus Bus followers are for gigantic signs and reminding us that we are fornicators.

Rhett:
is that what that burning sensation is?

Oliver:
kitten purchased. in car.

Greg:
Fun? Alcohol? Debauchery? Perhaps pineapple? Who knows?
Dost thou cup over runneth?
Has thoust drunk in abundance this evening?
7 shots is my guess.

not too much gold in this batch unfortunately.

txt msg log, July/27/09 - Aug/09/09

2009-08-09T01:33:00.000-07:00

Home from a party but i want to do this so i can erase my inbox...

July 27th...it begins again

JULY
Jeff: Candace, Your organizing skills around bowling are impeccable.

Rhett: Yes, yes it has. I'm a little blury and bowling. After tonight I've got Tuesdays free again.
hint hint.

Joshua H: Fucked up night at work drunk!

Rhett: That's so syncronously sweet.
Rhett: The gods have smiled on u.

Jill: Will you text when you get home okay?
Ps. wow. how did michael get so wasted?

Rhett: One trip to serra bowl a week is my limit.
Rhett: Careful, philipinos can be dangerous.

Alex: I might be fucked up on rum.

Alex: That blows, fire a red flare.
Alex: Shit, the rescue plane was shot down. A flare hit it.

Schuyler: Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuure. That's coo. Accomplish things.

AUGUST
Gail: That's ok. If u weren't drunk I don't think [your niece]would b able 2 recognize u anyway.

Rhett: Yeah, crack whores.

Gail: I haz problems.

Jeff: You want some? I can bring it, but I'll probably eat most on the plane. Any I don't eat, I'm going to sell for $10.00/eggroll. What would you rather have as a passenger? Nuts or Lumpia? I should charge more.

Alex: I am recovering from last night.

Alex: I just realized "kinkos" is one letter off "kinky"

Oliver: You have a father?

Brittany: I'm disappointed in u.

Brittany: DRUNK. DRUNK. DRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNLLLKKKKK

Alex: I just acquired scattergories. You are consumed with jealousy.

Schuyler: Cops can go crooked sometimes.

August 9. inbox erased, here we go again!

trivia!

2009-07-29T00:56:00.000-07:00

wow, got to go to trivia tonight with two people that I haven't seen since I got let go from my job =)

It was amazing. 3 of us sharing a bucket of crappy beers followed by me buying a pitcher of blue moon. Not my favorite but one that I saw right away =)

Fun times!

More txt msgs!

2009-07-20T20:04:00.000-07:00

It's just getting ridiculous how many txts i get now that i have a phone that's more suited to me SENDING them...I used to only do these blogs whenever it filled up. On the last one it was around the 700 mark...

JUNE
Jay: I'm fighitng it hy getting drunk?again...

me: My roommate thinks you're like us, you know...intelligent.
Ron: LOL, he has been fooled!

JULY:
One night:
Brittany: Drunnnnnnklkkk
Rhett: Druunnk
Brittany: You should meet us @ boardroom in 60 mins
Brittany: I'm at visuvios
Brittany: Rhett's House
Brittany: U took 2 long biatches
Brittany: Wanna smoke hookah?
end night

Kevin: I think it should become an expression of failure: "ah, this phonebank is so webinar"

Bernadette: That's nerdtastically hot!

Liz: It's Liz! pink is the new black by the way

Alex: So...Susan's numbah? Please?
Alex: Apparently that was NOT susan's number...

Oliver: your text was tops c-dizz

Brittany: Damn biych, I didn't know u could run!!!!

David: Quit looking at your phone and GET TO WORK

Gail: Aw. Tee Dis and bridget bonding over tattoos.

Alex: I can't tell if this is a gay bar or a hip bar in a gay city. Either way I'm gettin mad checked out.

Kate: You want to talk @ TOTALLY unfair? The Doctor Who panel is at the same time as the meet n' greet w the Mythbusters!

Same Night:
Rhett: Druuuuunk
Rhett: Fucked up. Whateves. Got nothing on u.
Rhett: I try. Ur in the right city. Don't panic. Just ur thing.
Rhett: I have no idea what we are talking about.
end night

It rhymes with "Candice"

2009-07-09T21:46:00.001-07:00

The following words are uncommon enough in everyday language that I always think people are saying my name or talking about me:

canvas
canvass
Kansas
campus

Everyday phrase that can sometimes make me look up:

"Can this?"

This has been a public service announcement.

txt msg log...so soon?

2009-06-27T17:50:00.001-07:00

wow. now that i have a phone that doesn't die every call & has a useful keyboard...I keep filling up my txt msgs quickly!

here we go for the latter part of june:

June:
Gail: Hmmm. Well now I feel pressured 2 live up 2 ur expctations. I
ll call a caricaturist.

Jay M: Drubk is my trugh serum

Jay M: Otally waaasred

Giannii: If you're referring to my bed then yes.

Scott: U can do it!

Scott: Hey, I'm gonna go to horse racing (seriously)

Ron: That's just how i roll...Preview for next week! Prepare yoruself!

Kate: Damn you're important!
I just gave you a shout out on a Bon Jovi song :)

Bernadette: You need a bigger nerd dating pool to swim in.

Rhett: Down girl.

Gail: For crying out loud that's fabulous! worth missing elmo tho? I think NOT! Loser!

Oliver: How do I get closer to your house?

Brittany: Drunk. Well almost. Goddamned Sarah marshal!

Scott: I'm @ the opera. holy shit!

Greg: You sobered up yet?

I think I just saw Elvis. How do I copyright that?

2009-06-12T01:08:00.000-07:00

I was looking at the US Copyright Office & found this FAQ:

"How do I protect my sighting of Elvis?"

Copyright law does not protect sightings. However, copyright law will protect your photo (or other depiction) of your sighting of Elvis. File your claim to copyright online by means of the electronic Copyright Office (eCO). Pay the fee online and attach a copy of your photo. Or, go to the Copyright Office website, fill in Form CO, print it, and mail it together with your photo and fee. For more information on registration a copyright, see SL-35. No one can lawfully use your photo of your sighting, although someone else may file his own photo of his sighting. Copyright law protects the original photograph, not the subject of the photograph.

Hmm. It's asked enough to be in the FAQ.

To be safe I used a picture from picapp.com. I didn't want to get into copyright problems posting a copyright blog...

2009-06-11T16:46:00.001-07:00

To be honest, this is how I motivate myself to exercise
xkcd (go to the original for the mouseover)

Zack Morris on Jimmy Fallon

2009-06-09T00:17:00.001-07:00

It's amazing how much he still looks like him. He also plays a Zack Attack song!

original "zack attack" reunion concert
http://www.spike.com/video/friends-forever-zack/2711522

Cleaning out my txt msgs again.

2009-06-04T16:20:00.000-07:00

I have a new phone that makes it much easier to txt msg. As a result, I've been texting more & receiving more texts than ever before! Below is just 2 months worth (it got full already)

May

Kristin: TANG BANG

Kristin: Well let's tang bang again soon! I liked that bar.

Mom: Drunk!

Tobi: Gay

Brittany: No it starts at hooters in the city.

Scott: lucky dude! :-)

Sister: YES LETS DO THIS THANG!

Sister: Boo! She hates you that much huh? Don't we all!
Sister: Yes, it's hard 2 keep up the facade of friendship while fonduing. She knew her limits.
Sister:
"but it's so...palpable!"
"and so is my hatred for you"
"..but?.."
"NO! EVERYTHING TASTES BITTER RIGHT NOW!"

Brittany: drunk...
Brittany: Qellmy drunkenness lasted about ten minutes...

Jon: Met Ryan, Mel, Tim, and Andy tonight for dinner & the Long Beach College Bowl came up. I know I said 'will you stop spitting on me'. Was there a rain forest reference as well?

Scott: I love hate sf.

Brittany: So u drunk yet?

Scott: =( from now on i will never miss an episode of idol ever.

Scott: Pft, id rather lose than listen. :)

Oliver: napa again? fiend.

me: I'm high class drunk right now
Oliver: tranquila.
Rhett: I've always said that about you.

Stan: Done? U retiring early? So unlike u.

in response to my txt about going to canada:
Brittany: I'm not going anywhere with you! U mass text messager!!! Damn you.
Rhett: Wow I feel so special that u would invite me
Oliver: I've never been to like, normal Canada

Rhett: Well now you know where you went wrong

Rhett: Bitch.

Greg: Sounds like you got tryna get the hell outta dodge fever funny must be going around because I damn sure got it. :)

Oliver: f no

Scott: (rolls eyes) ;-)

Mike: Yep. After I eat this hotdog.

Keane: $3 martini and booth. Surprisingly awesome. Surprisingly.

Oliver: <3

David: yeah me too. I will feel much better when the lakers lose.

Scott: I did. i cried all night.

June

Sister: Yes. If it doesn't scare the crap out of her. R u home yet?

Sister: YOU HEARD ME

Scott: Ten bucks or i fwd to sfpd.

anonymous in response to "do you wanna go to the bar tonight": Planning on casual sex instead.

John S: Hold up, u don't talk to me for how long and you out of the blue ask me for another man's number? Wassup with that, and the number I have is so old i don't think it works.
John S: Sorry, I forgot to add the number cuz I am mad (number)

Greg: Vancouver strip clubs here we come!
Greg: Get me info Let's do this!

Tinna: Thank u for helping me surprise Ryan!!! He was truly terrified :)

Rock, Paper, Bagels?

2009-06-03T14:45:00.000-07:00

Just random musings with my older sis.

sister: hmmm
me: HMMMMM
sister: that *is* a quandry
me: QUANDRAY
me: QUANTUM LEAP RAY
sister: quantas sleep fries
me: chili cheese fries.
sister: simi valley lies
me: Sim City Family Ties
sister: siamese cat heights
me: bagels.
me: I win.
sister: hardly
me: DAMMIT
sister: bagels with lox and cream cheese
sister: I WIN
me: ....well played.
sister: exactly
sister: you made the common bagel rookie mistake

Doc Martens Last Forever.

2009-05-20T23:51:00.000-07:00

So I finally treated myself to a nice pair of expensive shoes. Keep in mind, I normally wear $20 Vans Shoes that last me 3 years.

I've always wanted a pair of Doc Martens, I bought a used pair in HS but it ended up fitting so badly that I ditched them (hello, they were someone else's...but they were also only $20...)

I now own a pair of 1460 Greasy Black Doc Martens. they make my feet look big and I've debated sending them back.

I've shown them to 2 of my roommates with great response, so i'm prolly keeping them. Also, it's going to make me wear dresses more..I bought them to wear with dresses =)
So one of the roomies asked "Why Doc Martens?" in a curious way. I think it's definitely a certain look, and it's something that I've found I don't want a fake one..does that make sense? I dno. At least I know I won't have to replace them (hopefully) soon.

And then I ran into this:Ads that were banned because they used dead rock stars

Kinda brilliant, no?

and THEN the homage to these shoes:
Designers redesign the 1460s

The more i look this up the more excited about these i get. ^_^

Punch Out

2009-05-12T23:57:00.001-07:00

OH

MY

GOD

One of my favorite video games as a kid...I love marketing techniques like this!!!

If i had the money i'd be buying a wii just for this. I love how they're keeping a lot of the same characters and also the same style...

Although i *highly* doubt mike tyson's going to be in it.

Absolutely love how Doc is saying all the same things "I don't know what that means.."

sunscreen?

2009-04-19T00:19:00.000-07:00

It was a beautiful day & I was heading out to play some sloshball with friends in the park. Preparations:

me1: So we're going with the tanktop then?
me2: Yeah.
me3: Yep, sounds like a plan.

me2: Do you think we should put sunscreen on?
me1: Good idea! We've gotten sunburned on the shoulders before, let's apply it there.
me3: Yeah, the shoulders for sure, that's our problem spot.
me1: And we've got that everyday stuff that we use for our face, let's make sure we use that.
me2: Totally logical. Into it.

me3: What about the front?
me1 & me2: Wait, what?
me3: You know, this shirt shows off our clavicle area as well as the top of our chest...maybe we should put some there
me1: Oh, nah. Why? We never get sunburned there...
me2: Nah.
me3: It'll take like TWO sec-
me2: ..........naaaaaaaah.
me1: Dude, we're already late. Let's go.

[At the end of the day]

me3: This sunburn sucks. You guys suck.
me1 & me2: Shut up, we have the same body. We're suffering too.

another saturday night

2009-03-22T02:30:00.000-07:00

so tonight i went to a bar in north beach that specializes in beer. during the course of the evening i said something about being able to blog drunk.

well, 3 hours later i'm on here and saying to all of you:
i can blog drunk.

I remember the first time i blogged drunk i was hanging out with a laptop upside down in a hallway.

now it's a lot more confortable sitaution. i should get back to the group.

bye!

Video Flashback: New Found Glory (first major album)

2009-03-18T21:51:00.000-07:00

I've had my fair share of long distance relationships. One of the most intense was between 1999-2001. This song was on a CD that I played all the time, and this is definitely one of my favorite songs of all time.

I never saw the video for it til recently, and it has Rachel Leigh Cook in it!

You're not here
and I can't stop pretending that you're forever mine.
And I...

I can't dream anymore
Since You Left.

I miss you singing me to sleep (to sleep)
I can't wake anymore
In Your Arms.

I miss you singing me to sleep.

"Cheer up" my friends all say...

This band was one of the ones that influenced my bass style.

And here was the song that made me fall in love with them. I actually watched this video to study the bassist's style (especially how to jump around with a bass on)

Have I waited too long?
Have I found that someone?
Have I waited to long
to see you?

a 'cherry chapstick' wtf.

2009-03-16T00:55:00.001-07:00

kat: hey candice....
me: waddup daaaaaaawg
kat: I'm putting on my cherry chapstick
me: ...um
me: if your'e hitting on me
kat: are you Katy Perry for me?
me: ..........
me: *cries*
me: I NEED AN ADULT
kat: just making sure.
me: I NEED AN ADULT
kat: As long as that's still your reaction, we're friends.
kat: This was a test.
kat: I have to know who I can trust now that I'm single Candice.

When the hell did "katy perry" become an adjective? Or is it a verb?
and if i was gonna be tested, i'd prefer it not give me a heart attack. thanks.

emperor's new groove, classic clip

2009-03-16T00:41:00.000-07:00

He's going to lead you down the path of righteousness. I'm going to lead you down the path that ROCKS.

Which button does that?

2009-03-10T18:31:00.000-07:00

Frame of reference: my friend Matt is not only a great co-worker here but he's also a model. He appeared here today:

So I chatted him up about it.

me: so, tobi.com eh?
Matt: wooo
Matt: word
me: cute
me: you awesome bud
Matt: i'm stoked
me: how do *I* become a male model
Matt: start by becoming a male?
candice: shit!
Matt Maimoni: go go gadget sex change

this is not the same 'nemesis' matt

I actually cooked tonight

2009-03-08T23:10:00.000-07:00

I call it the "whatever i had in my fridge" meal.

Ingredients:

"Starch": Quinoa (i just killed my first box, I'm officially a fan of the stuff)
Cook like rice on the stove.

Main Dish:
1. Fresh cut asparagus
2. Frozen beans & carrots
3. Trader Joe's frozen mandarin chicken, minus the sauce.
4. Olive oil
5. Fresh cut garlic
6. Aloha Shoyu
Fry all together in the olive oil, starting with some garlic, then the frozen chicken. When that thaws out a bit put the frozen veggies in. When that starts getting soft toss the asparagus and the rest of the garlic (and more olive oil) in.
Fry until it looks good enough to eat. (you can see i'm a cook)

condiments:
that red spice japanese stuff. hell if i know what it's called.
edit: bernadette so kindly let me know it's called "Shichimi"
nori + sesame seeds
Aloha Shoyu.

It will also be lunch tomorrow.

Oh and I forgot the key component:
2 glasses of my roommate's wine. Not in the meal, just during cooking and consumption. That's the real reason why i'm blogging now.

Music: Mayday Parade

2009-03-08T00:31:00.000-08:00

Yet another band I discovered on Pandora. They kept suggesting songs for me & when I walked into Virgin Megastore (which is closing in April..*sadface*)

I saw their CD on sale so i grabbed it.

Just like Boys Like Girls previously (well, nowhere near as bad. Read here), I'm starting to really get attached to these guy's works.

I might be partial to this one just because it mentions "Begging for money to get home..well at least San Francisco"

However, I didn't pick up the album that has the song I really wanted:

Which is one of the best songs I've heard in a long time. I actually tried to blip.fm both of these songs but they're not linked yet.. =*( disappointed.

Support Non-Human Rights

2009-03-07T01:08:00.000-08:00

Viral campaigns interest me.

This new untitled movie (Something about District 9, or D-9) has slowly been releasing propaganda for the last year.

I saw an ad on facebook that said "Keep this site non-human free" and at first I thought it was Star Trek.

after some serious searching i found these:
MNU Spreads Lies
the MNU

This is pretty neat. I haven't been part of a viral campaign from the beginning in a long time. I'm interested to see how this one pans out.

Priorities.

2009-03-06T17:03:00.000-08:00

Background: a team moved floors.
Overheard right behind me a few seconds ago:

S: ...and where do I put this paperwork now?
M: Right here.
S: ...and where is the candy now?
M: Right here.

some random drunk post

2009-03-05T22:24:00.000-08:00

Here is what the situation is right now:
1. Stomach is full of a burger from Q.
2. Joining the burger is half a half pitcher of sangria (a fourth? Is that like a forty?)
3. Chilling out with the laptop warming my legs.
4. Looking up emo songs on youtube.
5. The weird pictures that people put to emo songs in videos is making me wonder. Wondering what I would be wearing if i was in high school right now. you know what pisses me off just a little bit? the grade school kids that would laugh or be afraid of me in my black lipstick and red hair and vinyl pants and chains and trenchcoats are now the emo kids that feel that the world "doesn't get them" and the need to "cut myself". shut up. just because your mom didn't let you borrow the prius to go to the mall and act like you don't like chain restaurants doesn't give you the right to cut yourself.
6. Hello. how are you?
7. All in all happy. Just a little ranty and self reflecty. Speaking of which, are we really supposed to believe Medusa NEVER saw her reflection? Really? Like noone else thought of that or she didn't accidentally walk by one or a puddle of water or something? really? serious? cmon let's be real.
8. On that topic, what the fuck was Oedipus thinking?! If someone told me my fate was to kill my father and sleep with my mother I sure as HELL would not be killing ANYONE old enough to be my father and i sure as FUCK would not be sleeping with ANYONE who was older than me. AT ALL. Just to be safe.

Okay done. Randomness over. I think.

Cool vision of the future

2009-03-04T00:32:00.000-08:00

<a href="http://video.msn.com/?mkt=en-GB&playlist=videoByUuids:uuids:a517b260-bb6b-48b9-87ac-8e2743a28ec5&showPlaylist=true&from=shared" target="_new" title="Future Vision Montage">Video: Future Vision Montage</a>

Now the thing that freaks me out about this is that I remember feeling like "how the hell is that even possible" or "No way" or "That SOUNDS cool but itll never be reasonably priced"

Well, remember this?

I had the same feelings about those videos, and they've all come true. My apple iPOd Touch can do most of that.
And that was only like 15 years ago, can you imagine what kinda awesome toys we'll have 10 years from now?

If the robots don't take over before then....

quick sketch 'cause i can't sleep.

2009-03-02T23:41:00.000-08:00

Right now it's called "guy lean" but I think I might add some stuff to it later.

Either way, it did it's trick & i'm sleepy now.

you can tell i've spent the weekend at a comic con.
(i reserve all copyrights btw)

Star Wars A Capella Tribute

2009-03-01T22:38:00.000-08:00

...You know, I've geeked out all weekend, why not put this up.

This is pretty amazing. And he's cute. And he's got like 4 different geek shirts.

Wondercon: Day 3, "Once More with Feeling"

2009-03-01T21:41:00.000-08:00

Ah, all good things have to come to an end. Seriously, this was one of the best weekends I've had in a long long time.

As I had anticipated, today was a more laid back day. Like most people come on Saturday...so it was hella crowded yesterday, and today was kinda that day where you're like "Sure, I'll go pick up that comic book I was debating on getting all weekend."

I brought my comic book that I had at home so that David Mack could sign it. I ended up seeing a piece of his in one of his reflections books & asked him if he had it (If i had that one, I'd have the whole set of Echo Prints ..to my knowledge). And he had ONE left. Awesome.

With the laid-backness I was able to actually go to a panel. Which is awesome 'cause I really wanted to see Chuck! The castmembers were so funny & you could tell they really liked working together.

The day seemed to go by quickly, as I tried to help my friend find a copy of "The Watchmen" graphic novel (kinda impossible unless you wanted a nice rare copy)...

I also got to see the last few minutes of a panel about Harper's Island, which sounds fun. It's a show that lasts 13 episodes, and you know that everyone's going to die. The actors didn't even know when they were filming how long they're going to last. Either way, I got to see Christopher Gorham, who played Jake in Jake 2.0 & Henry in Ugly Betty. Hawt dork.

The night ended with a musical. Buffy the Musical, to be exact. It was awesome, I was in this room with a mix of Buffy Enthusiasts and people who had never seen the episode before. To be fair, I only saw it for the first time last week (in preparation for tonight...yeah, seriously, i prepared for wondercon).

The episode's named "Once More, With Feeling". It's pretty entertaining, I suggest you check it out if you have the means.

Either way, the con ended at 5 =( I actually didn't want it to end! I have to admit, I am pretty flabbergasted by how much fun I actually had. And get this: I didn't drink all weekend.

Seriously. It's like, I can replace alcohol with geekdom. Oh and geek boys. Lots and lots of cute geek boys. Yay.

You know, i should just name this blog "Wondercon and the stuff I do in between Wondercons"

Wondercon: Day 2 aka the day that Darth Maul hugged me.

2009-02-28T23:40:00.000-08:00

YES people that's right. If you're a friend of mine you probably have an inkling that I like star wars. If you've ever talked to me about star wars you'd prolly know that my favorite character of all time is Darth Maul (put your knives down, kids).

Let me list out what happened quickly before I forget and digress into full darth love.

The list.
1. Woke up too late to go to the Watchmen panel. Heard that it was really crowded anyway.

2. Tried to get into the Star Trek Panel, but I did not. It filled up too quickly (this was NOT a problem at the last one...they had it in a smaller room this time for some ungodly reason)

3. Got to meet Ray Park. (Darth Maul, more detail later)

4. Discovered that David Mack was there. He's my favorite comic artist. He does some crazy shit. What happened was last year he was a featured artist & I had no idea he was there. I found him, talked to him, pretty much acted like a fangirl around him and bought 3 of his prints. He then proceeded to give me his entire collection of comics and signed everything for free. This time around, I bought more of his artwork & he's going to sign the other comic i bought at a comic book shop too. As you can tell from the length of this paragraph, I'm pretty nuts about the guy.

5. Found the clown's booth. The one from yesterday. He remembered my name. They're actually not creepy, but their job was to get killed periodically by a ninja in their booth.
Apparently from their sign:
Clowns: 0, Ninjas 15.

6. Went to this workshop on managing your time & organizing your life to create art.
Unfortunately, this workshop was neither organized or managed well and I walked out early and disappointed.

7. Went to the Masquerade. It was much different then I had anticipated. I thought it was going to be a ball..noooo it was more of a "let's watch people who handmade their own costumes act out a small skit". That was a pleasant surprise. I didn't stay to see who won, but there was this badass skit of guys dressed in Cobra suits. Essentially, Snake Eyes came in & started kicking their asses (they referred to him as a "Merchandising Whore"). The main Cobra guy ended up morphing power rangers style (pretty amazing shit) and..well..it was just freaking awesomely funny that it was put on by amateurs.

8. Met my friends at a bar after, but I ended up not drinking. I don't know, I had such a cool day that I ended up getting bored at the bar.

Okay, on to the thing that made me hella giddy.
DARTH MAUL
First of all, if you don't know who I' m talking about, check out this awesome vid:

(this wasn't at wondercon, I probably would have fainted if I saw this)

The guy's a badass, okay? He actually was going to just be the stunt double but then they had him...you know what I'm gonna digress too much. The fact is, I got to meet the guy.

You know how some celebrities, when you meet them you're a little disappointed 'cause they're not as hot or as nice as you would like?

NOT DARTH MAUL. He's fucking hot. And not just that, he has this accent. and not just that, he takes the time and actually talks to each fan for a while. Like he talked to me for a while about things, I told him he was my favorite character, and he told me his was Han Solo (heartstrings..tugged), and further went on to theorize about whether or not he would have chosen his character had he been younger. I actually felt like a dumbass, here I was talking to darth maul and all i could do was laugh & smile. In fact, I think I could have talked for longer with him had i not been so starstruck. like. SRS starstruck. It was amazing.

He even let me take a picture with him. As I was leaving, I asked, Can i have a hug?
AND HE FUCKING STOOD UP AND HUGGED ME.

After that, I also ran into david mack (detailed above).

I turned to my friend Jennifer and said "okay, you know what? I could miss every panel they have after this point and I am Totally fine. That is exactly what I wanted to do."

I am so happy right now. It's insane. I'm surprised you read to all the way down here.

Also: Wired Magazine's Faces of Wondercon 2009

Wondercon: Day 1.

2009-02-28T00:33:00.000-08:00

So! Update. I found someone who is just as gung ho about this as me and I convinced her to buy a 3 day pass (score)

Day 1 was kinda a half day, but let me number things that happened:
1. Wore a cape, dress, chains, & fishnets today. yep. all together.
2. Got hit on by a clown. Seriously. A guy dressed as a homicidal clown hit on me. I couldn't tell if he was cute but I didn't pick up on the fact that he was hitting me because i was FREAKED OUT. By the fact that he was dressed as a clown. All in all a good guy, but I digress. Didn't notice that you asked me to be your city tour guide BECAUSE YOU HAD A RED FOAM NOSE ON. Clowns scare me. His name was 'buddy', which sounds like a horror film. "Buddy the Clown"
3. Went to a cover artist's workshop on making my digital paintings more painterly. Was definitely inspired to go home and draw.
4. Didn't go home & draw 'cause I checked out the amazing Star Wars Fan Film Last Film Standing or whatever. It was pretty cool 'cause we got to narrow down our favorite one. I have to say there was some awesome shit in there but this one is the one that won & it got my vote (via yelling and screaming)

5. They gave us goodies just for showing up! And get this, I got an original promotional glossy (actually 2) of Lando! I FUCKING LOVE LANDO. Prolly my fave human in the series (except for Han, well he's just so cool).
Just in case you're not as geeky as me (prolly not), here's THE man himself:
(not the actual glossy i got but hey)

Awesome. Plus I also scored some Bounty Hunter stickers, a comic, & a Indiana Jones glossy too. Fuckin A awesome.

I was perusing through my guide and just realized that Ray Park is going to be there tomorrow. I'm genuinely going to freak out 10x.

Wondercon is causing some self reflection

2009-02-26T20:22:00.000-08:00

I'm kinda depressed right now. Well, to be fair, nowhere near as depressed as I once was, but still a little bummed. Walk with me, this one's going to be personal.

So there's this event called Wondercon.

I've always wanted to go to a con ever since i was in high school. Last year I got to go. I went by myself and enjoyed it. A few of my friends ran into me and we got to hang out and stuff but for the most part i'm pretty independent.

This year for some reason i'm kinda bummed out that noone is as gung ho about this as I am. Even my roommate who works for an anime company is probably not as gung ho about this as I am.

And so after a long time thinking about it, I think i figured out that the reason why is that me wanting to go much more than other people means that

I
am
the
biggest
geek
of
ALL
my geek friends.

and as much as I love that fact, I also think it's a harsh pill to swallow.

whoa, holy shit..luke & leia are going to be there. omfg.

50 Jobs, 50 States

2009-02-25T23:58:00.000-08:00

I just saw an online clip of some news coverage of this guy!

I think it's such a great idea. He couldn't find a job out of college so he's traveling across the country and working a different job in each state for 2 weeks/1 week at a time.

It's pretty brilliant, and I like how he's going to end it in hawai'i.

Living The Map

He's been getting a lot of press coverage. Pretty brilliant!

Snapshot Isolation

2009-02-24T23:55:00.000-08:00

I can't sleep. One of those stupid Facebook Memes was on a friend's page.

I decided to do it:

1 - Go to "wikipedia." Hit “random”
or click http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random
The first random wikipedia article you get is the name of your band.

2 - Go to "Random quotations"
or click http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3
The last four or five words of the very last quote of the page is the title of your first album.

3 - Go to flickr and click on “explore the last seven days”
or click http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days
Third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

4 - Use Photoshop (or similar) to put it all together.

5 - Post it to Facebook as a note and tag the friends you want to join in.

So I did it, and to my surprise, my band's name randomly from Wikipedia is "Snapshot Isolation".

I REALLY like this name. Like REALLY like it. Dibs. It's like so geeky (I had never heard of the term, but reading about it on wikipedia) but it sounds alterna.

I really think my next band is gonna be named that.

This was my quote: "Each Painting has its own way of evolving...When the painting is finished, the subject reveals itself"

So far, holy shit, the title is "The Subject Reveals Itself"...not a bad debut album.

This was the third picture. Okay, so it can't all be perfect.

However, this was the FIRST picture on the page, and I think that's more fitting.

So there you have it. My next band's name is "Snapshot Isolation" & I'm srsly going to write a song named "The Subject Reveals Itself" very soon.

I'll just draw our album cover.

Those obama wannabe posters just got transformed

2009-02-24T22:40:00.000-08:00

Okay, so admittedly, I'm pretty sick of all those fake obama posters. I mean, it's great 'cause it shows how iconic that work was, and I have one of those posters, but really, do i need to see everyone and their mother have their own version?

Then Keane showed me this.

I actually LOL'd.

Stevie Wonder: For Once in my life, and some thoughts

2009-02-23T22:59:00.000-08:00

First of all, enjoy:

Wikipedia Link for song
Ron Miller, who was one of the writers of this song, wrote it about his baby daughter. He married a filipina, which means this awesome song is about a half filipino. I just thought that fact was cool.

On the flipside, after googling for the video, I came across the one i've posted at the top. Here's how I imagined it went down:

Assistant to Mr. Wonder: "The lights are designed pretty well, we're using state of the art recording as well."

Mr. Wonder: "Great! How are the dancers?"

Asst: "oh um, they're fantastic. Choreography's top notch...um. yeah"

Mr. Wonder: "you don't sound so sure"

Other Asst: "Oh don't worry, these are some fine a$$ b*tches up in this joint. They know how to wiggle."

Mr. Wonder: "Okay, i trust you"

SRSLY? Do you SEE that dancing? I mean i know it was decades ago but that had to be bad back then too!?

Summmarrrry of my day. Valentine's day.

2009-02-15T01:25:00.000-08:00

1. went w/ bernadette to her audition.
2. Went to walgreens and random clement street store for valentine's decorations.
3. Defaced all valentine's decorations really violently.
4. Went to Justin Herman Plaza to hit thousands of people with a pillow.
5. Got drunk at The Boardroom, where the anti-valentine's day shit was hanging up.

Still hate valentine's day.

"to do you"

2009-02-09T18:06:00.000-08:00

me: so
me: i'm still up here
me: be right down
Kristin: haha
Kristin: don't worry, I wasn't sitting here just waiting for you
Kristin: ....i got stuff to do you
me: YEAH YOU WERE
me: DONT LIE
Kristin: to do
me: to do you?!
me: WHOA
Kristin Ely: you was not supposed to be in there!
me: WHOA
me: WHOA
Kristin: hahahaha
me: WHOA
me: FREUDIAN TYPO

Why, google, why?!?!

2009-01-25T23:25:00.000-08:00

I've googled myself before to see what others could potentially find out about me.

I had never thought until tonight to try something different..so I googled "candice san francisco"

This is the first result:
candace-sf.com WARNING: NOT WORK SAFE

here's a clip if you want to not have to click through:
"I'm Candace! As a sexy, beautiful blonde adult female companion based in both San Francisco and London I am exclusivelly available to the world's most discerning men. An executive with my own company, an artistic bent and a very naughty side, I am one of the highest rated escorts in San Francisco and London."

1. It's not even spelled right, her name is Candace, not Candice
2. She's an escort. How is this even legal in SF?!
3. I thought she was in a recession-proof business..apparently not "
In light of the economic slump, I'm offering $100 off my normal rate per hour until the end of March!"

...at least she's "highly rated." Well...according to her. I can't find her on Yelp.

I'm annoyed.

EDIT: Thanks to bernadette, we can now see what her reviews are:
REVIEWS FOR THE ESCORT

chp

2009-01-25T00:44:00.001-08:00

If I were to ever write a missed connection, it would have been for today

Dear CHP Guy-

I'm usually a sucker for a guy in uniform, but you caught my friend & I by surprise. I had no idea CHP uniforms were as crazy attractive as Marine Digicams. You're the first one I've ever met. Until then, I only thought you guys looked like Erik Estrada.

We realized you were pulling us over, we had no choice. And as we were swearing up a storm, you surprised me by coming over to my side. Thanks, btw, for motioning for me to roll the window down. I honestly wasn't expecting a CHP officer to be at my window, nor was I expecting him to be young and freaking hot.

You said something about registration blah blah blah but I was lost in your deep, blue eyes. Sure, the paperwork is valid..take her license, but please, take my heart.

Somewhere in between the shuffle and frustration of the day, you found it in your heart to let us off without too bad of a punishment, and with enough time for my friend to make her appointment.

You have her address. Just show up, we'll figure out the future from there.

- The girl who couldn't say anything.

I love the fact that we're all watching this at work.

2009-01-20T08:35:00.000-08:00

Txt msg log #2

2009-01-19T16:41:00.000-08:00

My phone’s starting to act really sluggish when it comes to txt msgs again, you know what that means, kids!

TXT MSG LOG TIME!

Are you ready? Buckle in.

Here we go, July 2008 – Jan 2009, Oldest first.

Sept 2008

Bernadette:

blah blah…I’ll just keep being rude and text people during dinner.

Bernadette:

It’s cool I went to dinner with cindy and joy and saw the absolute

hottest hapa guy ever eating dinner all by himself and I wanted to

jump on him.

Exchange:

Oliver:

:(0)

Uh…smiley eating a kiwi

That doesn’t make sense.

I loves Rhett.

I loves Rhett and britt together. I loves you too. Love trinity.

With all of my heart

Only if britt will be in it too

This is oliver

WE ARE ONE

I know everything

She’s got a spot behind her left ear. She goes crazy

Hot. Rhetts got one too, I hear

John H B:

Ok, I’m on the edgesssssssss

Tobi:

When isn’t yelp happy hour?

Gail:

OMg SHUTUP that looks so awesomely badass!

Is it stable? I’m envious.

Kadecia:

What up! When are you planning to arrive? We got masks and are ready to role

Bernadette:

Ha! I just ran into josh and jeremy in north beach

I know he told me :)

No :) they were looking for their car

Bernadette:

I’m having drinks with the poodle in 20 minutes. OMGWTFBBQ!!!!

Rhett:

Drunk due to Helen.

Tobi:

Thanks I may pass I have like f bottles at home

Pat:

Anthropomorphize much?

Bernadette:

He said: I haven’t seen her in a long time!” Hehe. I’m drunk hahahahahaha

October 2008

Bernadette:

Lovefest sucks and its making my ears bleed.

What are you doing later?

Brittany:

Wow I just get a ‘hi’????

WTF question are you filled of beef tenderloin???

Rhett:

I would dress mostly normal…For u anyway.

just make sure you have socks.

Mohawk not required.

Pat:

Whatever. I be up 4ever. Took nap b4.

Brittany:

Can you twist ur ankle or

Soething so u guys can forfeit

And Rhett can go home and talk to his needy

Girl friend? Thanks in advance!

Pat:

Omg! Id be pissed. Id bite someone. Doctor or fellow patient.

John H B:

Why aren’t you fools answering your phones?

Gail:

B said her ass is banging in her green apple onesie shorts!

She’s so conceited.

Bernadette:
Lo just bought me two drinks. Omfg

Jeremy:
Hey Mo-Fo’s I’m back from napa and boy is my liver tired.

Rhett:

Oh babe get a cab. Say your address.

U Worry me, fucking drunk.

Nicole:

Thanks for having me lady! You guys rocked the wigs.

John HB:

So I think I’ll be popping my collar.

Brittany:
It’s possible that he wants to kill me.

Kristen:
Throw a sheep at him.

Gail:
Well, we didn’t win the lotto. Bummed.

John HB:

Sorry I’m now had enough to drink where you have become the 3^rd person.

John HB:
Long u long time…actually short time :(

Gail:
Don’t 4get to work on her Halloween pic. And make her ass look banging.

Gail:
Ur niece is asking for “tee”

Jeremy:
What the hell happened to the garage door?

Gail:
Really? Cool! She was the only one I showed it to so far.

Maybe mel = crackhead…?

Jill:

Would sarah palin as ms Alaska 1984 wear an elegant

satin black or filmy pink gown? More importantly,

which looks better w/ a rifle?

November 2008

Brittany:

I hate u…

Election night:

Kate:

Yay! Current electoral count 194 to 60-something

Gail:

Wooohooooo wooooooooooohooooo woohooooooooo

Gail:

Yup! Watching it now. Republicans still suck ass.

Oops…That last sentence was from B.

Gail:

While we’ve been talking politics, this is what mel had 2 say:

Why do people with bad breath breathe with their mouths open. In my face.

Rockthevote:

You did it. Record young voter turnout, deciding the election. This is just the beginning.

Brittany:
U a hoe.

Melody:
DRUNK

Melody:

Omg cheers (I think I txtd her back that I was also drunk)

Greg:

Really. Shut up and get outta here. Go hit someone with a pillow. That there crazy talk.

Josh:

“Ery 1 in da club getting’ tips”

Rhett:
Omg, I’m watching the episode of southpark that was MADE for u. Goths vs vamps.

Ur so lame.

Melody:

Dude are you drunk?

December 2008

Melody:

(picmsg of me in a horrible outfit when I was 10)

Well we both were. Just gramps put yours up. Ha ha ha.

Maybe if we went to public school we would have known how to dress.

Kate:
Guess who got selected for jury duty today…booooooo

Gail:

Text me…i'm getting my hair blow dried rt now. Republicans.

Ignore “Republicans”…It did an auto insert somehow.

Melody:
Florist called mom just now. To make sure she was home. No surprise anymore.

Melody:
What is twitter?

Rhett:

Whore.

Brittany:
Some dude just told me that ur a whore and let some chick lick u. Is this true, whore?

Rhett:

Mmmmmmmm beeeer

Rhett:

Txt me fool

Ok, I hear u, law is law. Be there after I finish my warmup.

Rhett:

Creepy as fuck.

Gail:

(picmsg of a dry erase board)

Found this waiting 4 me on my dry erase board in my new office.

It says welcome 2 the 2^nd worst building here. The worst building was my

old building, moving up! gah!

Jenn:
Are you having a happy happy time?

Melody:
Did you wanna get a tattoo while you’re here?

Brittany:
Ok I suck I’m sorry.

Josh:
Hapi birf de!

Maddy:
Besuretodrinkyourovaltine?
A crummy commercial? Son fo a bitch! (merry Christmas!)

John S:
Bah hum bug everyone! Coal! Coal Coal!

January 2009

Jeremy:

(in the middle of all the Happy New Year Txts)

Happy Halloween!!!

Gail:
Gail is two doors down from where Candice is sitting in her old room

But didn’t feel like commenting about it on fb.

Jon C:

Check your emails I am going to find some way of making this trivia night work

If I have to strip naked and dance the Charleston goddammit!

Gail:
Instead of a video game, this trip will be marked by “signing times”

Greg:

Yeah. What kind of trivia? You calling me out how cute.

Money on the line? I’ll take a piece of the action. Nah I don’t want to hurt anyone. :)

Who is on the ten thousand dollar bill? Huh? Take that…no google permitted.

Yeah it’s on like ping pong.

Oliver: (regarding tattoo)

Ooooh exciting!

Congratulations girl…treasure this feeling.

Melody:

Picmsg of her wearing a sweater I forgot in Hawaii

Oh what a lovely jacket.

Gail:

OH NO! Totally MY fault!

Your OVAL! YOUR OVAL!!!

Maybe subconsciously I REALLY want it. I’m so passive aggressive.

Josh:

Buttver.

Brittany:
Wow I wish I was drunk.

John H B:

It is so hard to run w/ a stomach full of tofu

Oliver:

that's awesome

closet nerd

Doogie Howser, MD Symphony

2009-01-14T20:34:00.000-08:00

I fucking love Neil Patrick Harris. So. Much.

Back from Hawai'i different, and I didn't get a tan.

2009-01-11T01:48:00.001-08:00

So i'm way too tired to put up detailed events, so i'll list my souvenirs:

Necklaces & Bracelets from International Marketplace
Mood necklace from Waikiki Aquarium
2 pairs of Vans Shoes from Waikele Outlets
Clothes from Hot Topic
Kona Coffee
Chocolate Covered Mac Nuts
oh, and my FIRST tattoo! =)

More details to follow maybe about that whole process. I'm just proud of myself. I got to do that with my family.

Nine Inch Nails Raw Footage?

2009-01-11T01:45:00.000-08:00

Trent has reportedly been contacted about some raw footage

Apparently it can take days or weeks to download it. Anyone wanna do it for me?

What shade are we talking about here?

2008-12-14T01:45:00.002-08:00

Preface & disclaimer:
I got nothin but love for my white brothas and sistas. Love ya'll.
"white" isn't a race..it's a state of mind....*ahem*

Bernadette: we definitely have to go to Sonoma one of these days
candice: yes mam!
Bernadette: but i dunno if you'd like it
Bernadette: do you like wine tasting?
candice: oh
candice: wait
candice: WHY THE FUCK WOULD I NOT LIKE IT
candice: i like wine
candice: i have never been to sonoma
candice: so i'm down
candice: dude. so down
Bernadette: yeah but sonoma on the square is super umm...
candice: umm
Bernadette: what's the word
candice: white?
Bernadette: ha
candice: ...
Bernadette: yeah
candice: guessing here
candice: wait
candice: HAWAII KAI WHITE
Bernadette: whiter.
candice: zomggggggggg
candice: LOOKS DOWN ON HAWAII KAI WHITE
Bernadette: have you ever been to Carmel?
candice: no.
candice: cancun white?
Bernadette: or Santa Barbara?
candice: HEHEH
Bernadette: or.....Irvine?
candice: oh jesus
Bernadette: Newport Beach?
candice: no
candice: but you're painting a better picture
candice: no i've heard legends of these people
Bernadette: Sonoma is not as chic as Newport though
candice: like i feel really brown white?
Bernadette: YES
candice: (hahah)
Bernadette: Bella and I were like the only Asian people for miles.
candice: wow
Bernadette: seriously.

Bay Area Rite of Passage: Warriors Game

2008-12-13T16:33:00.000-08:00

!!! My first NBA Game EVAR (living on the mainland has its perks)...and this time I actually got to sit in a box for free =) (having a roomie with perks is its own perk)

Too bad they lost. Although I did get to see Yao Min kick their ass, which was pretty cool.

holy shit.

2008-12-09T23:56:00.000-08:00

I just got locked out of my bedroom for an hour and a half wearing nothing but a bathrobe. My room's not supposed to lock unless you do it when it's closed.

I guess it was half-locked and when i closed the door, either the heater or something made the door slam shut and when I came out of the shower my door was locked.

At first I was hoping it was a joke...maybe my roommate had the key the whole time?

Nope, it was locked.

After an hour and a half and the use of my other roommate's tools, they got it open. I was starting to get pissed at myself at the idea of wasting $80 to get it fixed.

Now I want to just replace the lock. Apparently they had to lock their doors before when they had shady roommates.

Thank goodness I'm back in my room. I know it's a small problem compared to a lot of other things, and i'm glad I'm not locked out of the apartment..but I have to admit, hearing the door open and seeing the light coming through the doorway was one of the best feelings.

Kinda like the jingle of your keys in your purse when you thought you lost them.

my birthday in a nutshell

2008-12-09T09:39:00.003-08:00

My co-worker/friend sent me this e-card, and it actually made me LOL

from someecards.com

My application to be a roommate

2008-12-04T17:00:00.001-08:00

My roommate found this in his inbox and sent it to me today. Gawd I'm a dork.

Hi-

I'm very interested in seeing the room you have available for rent here: http://sfbay.craigslist.org/sfc/roo/319489743.html

My name is Candice. I work full time for an established web company in SOMA that I am absolutely in love with, and am currently pursuing an MBA in Marketing.

However I'm also an avid artist, I graduated from the University of Hawai'i with a degree in computer animation; I draw, paint, sculpt (metal and glass), I play the bass guitar, and was very active in the poetry circle in Hawai'i.

I moved here last year, currently live in San Mateo, and am looking to move closer to school and work in the city.

I will be able to move in ASAP.

I'm very laid back & respectful; I think I'd be a phenomenal fit for the room.

I'm sure everyone writes that, but I'm actually telling the truth.

Please call me on my cell at [phone number omitted] anytime.

Thanks!!!
-Candice

I emailed him from work, and he called me on my cell phone 5 minutes later. I'm still living there. I *was* a good fit.

it might matter...

2008-11-20T00:13:00.000-08:00

Clump of dark matter may loom near solar system

I dno, it might be that I watch too much Futurama, but does anyone else think..."Hey. What if..."

Yeah, let's go pick up some spam and toilet paper. We should start stocking up.

alright when i mentioned futurama i started googling, and i came across this badass fanart

Don't they check the photos?

2008-11-19T00:32:00.000-08:00

My friend is enjoying 15 miliseconds of fame right now. In a news story covering the fact that Life has put all its historical photos on Google (a great bit of news in itself), they somehow used a photo that he photoshopped about the hoax. Granted, it's a great photoshop, but they really should have checked first.

Considering it will prolly be taken down, here are some screenshots:

What I think about on Veterans' Day

2008-11-11T13:59:00.001-08:00

The APL Song by the Black Eyed Peas
(This video makes me cry...)

It's something I actually get pretty sensitive about. My uncle died in the Bataan Death March...and his family doesn't get any benefits.

Some history

Just a quick thought.

2008-11-09T01:28:00.000-08:00

I would like to thank Rhett for being born.

Without which, I wouldn't have had access to vodka and be pretty happy right now from his birthday party.

Kudos to the birth, my friend. Kudos.

Absence of Motive: Halloween edition

2008-11-09T01:26:00.001-08:00

I finished it this week, but I wanted to put the date up for Halloween. Oh wells, Happy Halloween!

President-Elect Obama

2008-11-04T23:32:00.000-08:00

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Transcript to the acceptance speech.

YES. WE. DID.

Election Day: this made me laugh through my nervousness.

2008-11-04T15:06:00.001-08:00

Is Obama President?
This is what it is as of 3:07pm

http://www.isobamapresident.com

and THEN Matt found this:
http://ismccainpresident.com/

Halloween 2008

2008-11-01T03:20:00.000-07:00

holy shit.
you ever wonder
how you're able to do something
like have you ever
been walking
and realized
hey
i'm not thinking about walking?

welll. if you have then you know what i'm thinking about while blogging.

I'm actually boggled that I can type right now, considering that I would not trust myself behind the wheel of MarioKart.

All i have to say is
Thank god that josh had his coworker's party
sorry to kristin for missing her party
but i was on a bus for an hour with stupid people trying to get to her party
and i wanted to cry
for sure
i wanted to cry
yes
i did

and
im
not
sober
right now
at
all
like
if i ever ran for president

THIS

would be the post
that turns the election
THIS would be
the post
that makes them go
"Not her"

THIS would be the turning point.

I leave you with one final, simple equation.

Halloween 2008 > Halloween 2007

I love you all.

RickRollin its way to the top!

2008-10-30T17:26:00.000-07:00

Ron: omg
Ron: hahaha
Ron: i can't stop laughing
me: at what
Ron: ok so
Ron: mtv
Ron: launched this website where they posted all the music videos they have license to
me: oh yeah i heard about that
Ron: so it's like youtube for music
me: yep
Ron: check out what's the most top rated video
Ron: http://www.mtvmusic.com/

[candice clicks & sees this:]

me: HAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA
me: FUCKING AWESOME
me: PEOPLE BE RICKROLLING (frame of reference)
Ron: hahahah
Ron: oh man
Ron: that's gunna be number 1 forever

comic is back.

2008-10-28T23:38:00.000-07:00

well, by back i mean i posted something. Who knows, the next one might be in another 2 years. That seems to be the pattern. And for some reason, it's always in October.

You can see the entire comic and all its glory at Absence of Motive (what this blog was named after in the first place)

He was bored. I had to work.

2008-10-28T17:25:00.000-07:00

(btw, this is not Matt the Nemesis.)

Matt: i'm bored
Matt: payroll is done
me: oh that must be nice
me: wanna call this angry client for me?
Matt: definitely
Matt: who is it
me: sweet
me: Lemme give you his number

[20 minutes later]

me: i just did it
me: i ddin't think you were actually going to do it
Matt: you didn't even give me a chance
me: good point
me: lemme give you more angry clients
Matt: k
Matt: rdy
me: just kidding dude
me: i got this
Matt: listen
me: i always got this
Matt: i know you're afraid i'll take your job
Matt: since i'm so good
me: ......that's EXACTLY it

I just wanted a salad, not an adrenalin rush.

2008-10-22T21:45:00.000-07:00

So to the three of you who have been following my blog (thanks, btw), this post combines a couple (and by a couple I mean "several", and by "several" I really mean 4) things I've been blogging about lately.

1. Running
2. The Marina
3. Internal Dialogue
4. My Nemesis

I was walking with Bernadette in the Marina (explanation: I've been running along the Marina Green with her a few times a week...[explanation to the explanation: she made me do it at first and now I like it, okay?])...ahem. anyway.

I was walking with Bernadette in the Marina after our run towards this place that serves up pretty delicious salads. We jay walk (rebels), and out of the corner of my eye I see this red pickup truck start backing up and then stop and pull back into the driveway. I think nothing of it at the time.

Soooo we're walking down the sidewalk, with a lot of room to our left because we're respectful..and this DOUCHEBAG walks past me and totally checks me in the shoulder from behind and rudely says "EXCUSE ME".

The next half a second felt like 10 minutes to me, and my mind goes into full analysis self-talk mode:

[begin internal dialogue]

me1: Mother !@(*$* Marina fucking douchebag
me2: Fucking chode
me3: !!!

me1: Tense it up, I'm gonna punch this guy.
me2: Or at least yell at him.

me3: Maybe it's not worth it?
me1 & me2: WHAT?
me3: Maybe..well, we're tired, we just ran. Let's just forget it and get salad.

me1: Oh, she's turning toward him.
me2: Did we just shoot lasers out of our eyes or was that my imagination?
me3: We still have time we do NOT have to make eye contact.

[Makes eye contact]

me1: What the, wait..why can't I talk
me2: Why..wait...what the fuck?
me1 & me2 & me3: WE KNOW HIM!

[end internal dialogue]

And low and behold, it is Matt. My Nemesis. From work.

Apparently, he was already in his car when he had seen me and decided that he wanted to mess with me. Kudos to him. He was actually pretty proud of himself, asking "Did I get you?"

No blood was spilled tonight. It's his turf. And I wanted a salad.

Apparently my nemesis lives in the Marina.

Figures.

i love RENT

2008-10-21T00:23:00.001-07:00

The original cast on stage with the last cast. =*(

hi.

2008-10-16T20:59:00.001-07:00

I love my job. I really. really. Really. RLY do.

i hope they love me when they're sober.

2008-10-15T15:40:00.000-07:00

friend: don
friend: t
friend: as
friend: kl
me: WHAT
me: are you drunk?
friend: don't ask dont tell
friend: hahah
me: hahhaha
friend: its dark
me: heh
friend: sorry
me: whatever
friend: i love you
me: haha
me: how drunk are you now
friend: shut up
friend: just a little

the joys of non-cubicle life

2008-10-15T10:07:00.000-07:00

[Candice opens an evite]
[Kadecia pings Candice out of nowhere]

Kadecia: I'll go to that karaoke party with you!

me: what karaoke party?
me: are you looking over my shoulder?

Kadecia: I just see things

Iron Man Concept Art

2008-10-14T23:37:00.000-07:00

I'm in love with Concept Art. I'm actually trying to become a better concept artist myself...I mean at one point it was exactly what I wanted to do with my life.

I have an issue of Imagine FX featuring this, but I haven't actually cracked it open. I love the movie, I finally saw it on DVD the other day. The last time I saw it was the midnight showing the thursday night before it opened..hehe.

Iron Man Design Art

random knowledge drop: Piggy Banks

2008-10-13T11:41:00.000-07:00

I tend to look up random things when I'm either talking about it or get really curious about it.

I was curious about the origin of piggy banks.

Thank you wikipedia!

Interesting note, I did NOT realize that they weren't originally shaped like pigs. The term came from the clay that it was using, "pygg". It's like my eyes have been opened.

awww. Weatherman's on-air proposal.

2008-10-11T19:31:00.001-07:00

So he works for a competing news station. The look on her face is priceless...like she somehow thinks he's on there to sabotage them.

Although I'm not your typical girl, I'm allowed to get all "awwwwww"-y when there's a proposal like this, okay?

What happened at the end of Trading Places?

2008-10-10T14:28:00.000-07:00

I present to you, the tail end of what I do on my lunchbreak sometimes.

Trading Places
No, not the show about remodeling...
The Oscar Nominated badass 80s movie.

So, with the economy taking a downturn...I suddenly thought to myself "I wonder if anyone online can explain to me exactly what happened at the end of Trading Places

You know, the famous scene at the end where they somehow manage to become millionaires off of Orange Juice?

Thank god for the internet, 'cause this guy figured it out!!!

Trading Places: How Winthorpe and Valentine Pulled It Off

Pumpkin doesn't go with Tecate...

2008-10-10T10:53:00.000-07:00

Dude, i swear to god some people are so creative.
This has to be one of the best jack-o-lanterns i have ever seen.

ome. "What if I'm not the hero, what if I'm the bad guy"

2008-10-09T23:49:00.001-07:00

found out a lot of people are doing this online. It stands for "Oh My Edward".

Spoiler alert, if you're planning to read the book or are in the middle of it don't click this trailer, it gives away a lot.

Twilight HD Exclusive Trailer

Second-hand Dino Convo

2008-10-09T14:10:00.000-07:00

My roomie Josh shared this little gem of an IM with me:

erik:
someone sent me a link once
i dunno if you saw it
it was a dude dressed as a terradactyle
basically dinosaur porn
josh:
what the
no I didn't see it
erik:
ITLL CHANGE YOUR LIFE

After doing some googling that I was afraid might not be safe for work (NSFW for all you kids that are "with it") I found this post

...the people on bodybuilding.com are weird.

Running!

2008-10-03T21:32:00.000-07:00

Oh man. So I hated running before. I went out for the 4th time tonight and ran pretty hard...I'm getting better at it.

6:42 am = internal struggle.

2008-10-02T23:27:00.000-07:00

So I ran last night (still a beginner). This caused me to fall into one of the deepest sleeps I've had in a long time.

I usually wake up at 7:15am to get to work, and I naturally woke up, groggily looked at my phone, and realized it was 6:42am.

I closed my eyes and this internal dialogue happened within the confines of my mind:

me1: F*CK it's 6:42!
me2: Is it really 6:42...are we dreaming again?
me3: Like that time that we overslept 'cause we totally dreamt we got ready and got on the bus?
me2: yeah I hate that. That's happened way too many times.
me1: SHUT THE F*CK UP, WE CAN STILL GO BACK TO SLEEP!
me2: Wait, I wanna make sure it's not 6:42 PM and we missed a whole day of work??
me3: OMIGOD did we do that did we do that double check double check!!!

[body opens eyes, checks cell phone time, affirms it with a look outside the window, and closes eyes]

me2: Yes. It's 6:42 am. We're good.
me1: WE STILL HAVE A HALF AN HOUR TO SLEEP GO BACK TO BED WE NEED THIS.
me3: ....well I think that our mind woke us up for a reason...
me2: Yeah! ...you wanna...go...running??! We've always wanted to try a morning r-
me1: NO! SHUT THE F*CK UP. WE ARE NOT F*CKING RUNNING.
me2: I'm just saying that maybe we should star-
me1: NOOOOOOOOOO.
GO.
TO.
SLEEP.
me2: ...
me3: ...
me1: !

me3: *I* thought it was a good idea...
me2: thanks..

me1: SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!

Then I slipped back into sleep and woke back up at 7:35.

twilight saga

2008-10-01T22:33:00.001-07:00

so just an update to this blog about my initial addiction

I finished all 4 of the books, and have even read the first chapter of the next manuscript that may or may not be happening. This thing has caused me to lose sleep and I've even dreamed about this book.

And I do not regret it one bit.

I can't wait for the movie. I will see this movie alone if I have to.

Terminator 4: Rise of the WiFi

2008-10-01T13:34:00.000-07:00

Hotspots are dangerous.

me: if the wifi is on
me: it can look for it for a while
sister: oh, we better let dad know that
sister: how do i turn it off? i should check that
sister: i turned the wifi off
me: cool
sister: you know, that's how the machines take over the world in terminator
sister: you should always turn the wifi off

Detention is his Kryptonite.

2008-10-01T13:22:00.001-07:00

Thanks to sid for this:
A super way to get detention

If High School Candice knew what 25-year old Candice knows now, I think I would have spent more time in detention and be proud of it...wasted years being a goodie-two-shoes.

search google back in '01

2008-10-01T00:48:00.000-07:00

I can't sleep. So i've revived my comic (working on it, had to go to my hotmail account *shudder*)

But i found this beauty of a thing:
Search Google's Oldest Index

It's pretty cool. I searched my name and found some musical that i forgot i was in.

I also did a ~~couple~~ shitload of searches that would have meant nothing back then:
Myspace -making home improvements easier.
Facebook
wiki
flickr -internet freedom rally.
iPhone
youtube -i don't care how big you are now, that's gotta hurt on some level.
emo -there's an emo, ontario??
yelp -faq, how do i register my pet?
"social networking"
"miley cyrus"...yeah i really did that one...what was she, like...7 at the time?

On a more serious note, this index was done in January 2001, so I was curious about the following:
"September 11"

Interesting, huh? It's like a mini little geek time capsule.

heel-less shoes.

2008-09-30T21:53:00.000-07:00

...why...?

I'm not talking about flats or Vans (my shoes of choice, really)...but I'm talking shoes that look like they have an invisible heel.

Now, my close friends prolly know me as a heel hater, I can't really walk in them, I've sprained both of my ankles so heels just suck for me anyway...

I'm into really cool matrixy futuristicky wear, but damn. This looks cool..I just ...i just...i think this might be setting us back some.

Here's someone else's blog on actually trying them on

MORNING AFTER EDIT:
So the more i think about it, the more pissed I get.
I mean, the thing is, people are paying top dollar for this..you know these things aren't cheap.
I believe that if you're going to make it harder to walk AND take an integral part of the shoe away (like the heel), it should be a lot cheaper. Then I might think about it. If you're gonna make me wear those shoes, I'll wear it if they're like...$10.

maybe i should suspend blogging...

2008-09-29T09:30:00.000-07:00

SENTINEL EDITORIAL: Suspension

HAHAH

(thanks, Tim!)

Trust me, I've thought bout it everytime I check in...

2008-09-26T14:39:00.001-07:00

THISISAWESOME
Gadgets to help you survive cheap hotel rooms

By the way, It can happen in expensive rooms too.

And btw>btw, I'm blogging a LOT today in between calls & paperwork & being sick. I think it's how I cope with stress.

WaMu

2008-09-26T11:34:00.000-07:00

My friend Brendan made this:

http://mine.icanhascheezburger.com/view.aspx?ciid=2116084

I love my friends.

We've all thrown a sheep, it's okay.

2008-09-26T11:09:00.000-07:00

frame of reference: superpoke

me: there goes your theory
Kristin: defenestrated
me: what is that
Kristin: being thrown out of a window
Kristin: :-)
me: AH
Kristin: you want to hear something really embarassing
Kristin: i learned that word from superpoke
Kristin: SLIDE educated me
Kristin: dang
me: ...
Kristin: yeah
me: i didn't know that superpoke was also educational.
Kristin: it's bad
me: I just thought it was annoying.
Kristin: yeah, it IS! thats why i removed it from my applications, but not fast enough as I subsequently learned from it after doing a million retarded things to my friends....
Kristin: i hate that i ever used it
me: I think i maybe threw ONE sheep
me: maybe.
Kristin: :-) i think we all did

Nemesis note #1

2008-09-26T10:13:00.001-07:00

I'm excited to share that I have a full-fledged nemesis at work now.

He left this on a bright green super post it note on my monitor:

Candice

I believe your character
is sub-par and your
manners are lacking.

Your #1 Nemesis,
Matt

I anticipate more. I've left him 2 notes, and this is his first one. He either left it when I was away from my desk or when I was sick.

So far he's one of the few people I know that can actually ninja up on me. And that scares me.

bring it.

END OF DAY EDIT:
I decided to take a quick snapshot of it on my webcam. It's real, people.

This probably would be something I would have started.

2008-09-25T11:11:00.000-07:00

You ever feel so upset/angry/bored that all you wanted to do was take it out violently on something?

Are videogames not real enough, and are you already out of Ikea plates to smash?

You can pay to go and smash the shit out of things now. Here.

I really want to go to San Diego now. How badass would a smash trip on the way to Tijuana be?!

edit: apparently they offer discounts "We offer police, fire, military, student and senior discounts. Just remember to ask!*"

..I just imagined police officers shooting the shit out of plates.

identity crisis.

2008-09-22T22:17:00.000-07:00

Berna's been worrying lately about whether or not she's a marina chick.

Berna: I *could* start working out at the Marina location
Berna:they have classes at 6am and shit
Berna: not that i'd necessarily GO at 6am
Berna: BUT
Berna: maybe in conjunction with my runs down there
Berna: i dunno
me: is the fact that it's in the marina and might turn you into a full fledged marina chick holding you back?
Berna: yeah kind of
Berna: i mean
Berna:the two gyms that are closest to me
Berna: are
Berna: Chestnut St (Marina)
Berna:AND
Berna: Alhamba (Russian Hill)
Berna: which is practically the same as the Marina.
Berna: GODDAMMIT I EVEN JOINED A MARINA-GIRL GYM!!!!!
me : i like to leave chat long enough to let you crumble down.